Abroad and A Broad - Battle of the Bulges

TGIF

2011-04-08T12:55:00.003-04:00

Today at school we spent the entire day working on our W.O.W. board. What's a "W.O.W. board", you ask? Well, in a nutshell they are bulletin boards in the hallways outside our classrooms. Every other month or so, our class needs to decorate them somehow. Oh, and we compete against each other. Lower elementary, upper elementary and then the high school. My class has won twice. The theme we chose was "Mammal Zoo - Please don't feed us!" The kids did a great job painting and decorating. Because I don't have most of my brain intact (did I mention it was Friday?), I forgot to take a picture. I will do that Monday and then post. All that to say, we hope we win. Judging is Monday. *fingers crossed*

Business as usual in the eating department. Ate well, exercised (Day 8 of the 30 Day Shred) and now am about to chill in a bath and watch some of my recorded TV shows.

Here's what I ate today:

Have a great weekend!

30 Day Shred - I'm baaaack!

2011-04-07T12:03:00.008-04:00

Pictures post - yay!

So, Jillian and I have started a relationship.... our common ground is sweat and pain. She yells at me and I do push-ups. That's how this works. Because apparently all her biotchiness is supposed to get me looking good. So I put up with her.

The following are Day 1 and Day 7 pictures. See any differences (other than with my totally rockin' hair styles)?

And my food diary is back too...

since we last talked

2010-07-24T11:14:00.005-04:00

I just realized again after almost 32 years on this beloved earth that writing is my therapy. I wanted to write a book once. Not sure if anyone would actually read it but that's another story. Hmm, so I started this to keep track of my "progress" and now am actually only a couple pounds less than when I stopped writing. Yay! A couple of pounds less. Boo! I'm a bad, blog friend. The truth is, I need to get all this craziness out on paper. Or on my laptop screen. :)

I'm a believer when there's been distance between you and another, you should sit down (or go for a walk - that's more my style) and flap your jaws. Get it out. Don't sulk or try to be all brave and save face. We lose time that way.

So... since we last talked I've been through a wedding (not my own), a relationship (if you can call it that), a new group of students (*sniff sniff), sang in a concert, received news an uncle was on life support for a week and things didn't look good, visited said uncle and found him to be OFF life support, talking and breathing on his own, traveled to Germany, Ukraine, Slovakia, Czech Republic, Poland, Austria, Slovenia and a layover in Rome (which totally doesn't count because I never got to leave that God forsaken airport). Oh and I won the "teacher of the year" award at my school. Went back to America for 22 days in June-July and returned to Budapest with bags that were 6 pounds UNDERweight. Not too shabby of a year.

I have more to say but am on my way to my friends' concert. I'll be in touch.

See ya soon then.

Not kicked out yet!

2008-11-01T05:28:00.008-04:00

I'm clicking away on my laptop, nestled all cozy in my bed in BUDAPEST. Some days when I wake up I simply cannot believe it, that I'm here (or that they haven't kicked me out yet). Life has been great, busy, fun, exciting, tiresome (at times), sad (when I've gotten homesick), nonstop.. that last word kinda sums it all up... but it's a life I couldn't imagine trading. Really.

Teaching... I loved it the four years I taught in the states and when I stopped, there was an ache to do it again. And somehow, the plan leads me to the other side of the world, working alongside some of the most precious people that I have ever met.

Before I continue I have to tell you about my bulges. Before I left things were a bit nutso and I kinda put WW on the backburner. Everyone told me that when I went to Hungary I would lose weight just from all the walking. I didn't think it would happen to me but without changing my diet (except that I eat lots of Hungarian food), since my arrival August 10th, I've lost 11 pounds!! I'm thinking that after Thanksgiving I may start WW or eating less sugar/carbs... but we'll see. I'm happy with my body even though there are stick figures walking around everywhere. Somehow I keep my head together. :)

Seven fun facts:

The Hungarian gov't gave me a two year visa! And it looks like I will return for the 2009-2010 school year!!
I have 7 fifth graders... one who started as a beginner EAL (English as an Additional Language) learner. It's amazing to see her pick up English just by immersion.
I've been able to visit Poland (Auschwitz), Ukraine and Austria...
Rome may get a visit from me in December. Wanna come?
Turned 30 in a foreign country!
I have a Hungarian roommate - who speaks great English (and I beg her sometimes to speak more Hungarian).
Polly is not too keen on the city but loves visits to Margit Island (there is a huge park area for her to run)

Pictures:

I try not to have too much fun.

Excited to be in the Ukraine.
Should not have been this excited to lay on the ground. Oh well.

My visit to the Vienna Church. Amazing people.

The girls that were at my 30th!

So.. in a nutshell I'm doing well. Thank you for the prayers that sent me here.. and thank you for the ones that keep me here. I love you all and pray that you are all happy and healthy in your lives.. God bless you and I hope to post more pictures soon (lord knows I've taken about 1,000 since I've been here).

Missions Minded - HUGE news

2008-07-01T11:41:00.005-04:00

*Warning - the contents of this particular post may send some into shock.
Viewer discretion is advised.*

So, we, you and me, go back... over a year... Hundreds of posts. We've spent time together and I've given you a peek into my life.. my thoughts, my sad times, my joys, my desires. You've gotten to know me... my rants about PMS, my times of sadness when loved ones passed (3 this year!!), my incoherent posts because my girls that I host keep me up waay to late. And if you've been with me a while, you've been jealous when in March, I would leave for a week to spend my time in Budapest with the church, my friends, touring the city, basically having a blast-o-la.

One week ago tomorrow, I made the decision to go. Go? Yes, go. To Budapest... for a year (well, 10 months). I'm not going as a tourist this time. I'm going as a missionary, to be a part of the team, to serve in the church, do outreach throughout the city, minister to the poor and needy (most of Hungary is poor and needy), work with the youth. I've been asked "what will I do there? I will do there what I do here... be very involved and more than likely will be found ministering to the kids (ahem, teens). To help rent an apartment, I will teach Math probably to the junior high in their English speaking international school. I'm told that half of my monthly salary will cover a month's rent. I did the calculations and that means I'm pulling in about a grand a month. Trust me, this is not a career move. I have a nice home, great car, good paying job.. but I feel that Hungary is where I should be in a month's time. I'd call it a call and maybe it's crazy and I know how insane it all sounds because I have so much to do before I leave but to simply put it.. I walk and live by faith.

I asked one of my blogging friends if she thought it was okay that I post about this. I never did quite get an answer from her but because I've posted about everything from colon cleanses to co-workers who don't wipe the seat, I figured I could post this here also.

The director of the school (my new boss) said that it would be a good idea to raise some financial support before I go. Basically, you would be helping fly me (and Polly) over there and back (in a year). I HATE asking for money but I thought it couldn't hurt to put this out there. I put a Donate button at the top right of my page, if you want to donate.. if you can donate... the funds will go straight into my PayPal account. And of course, donations are tax-deductible. To be honest, I'm not sure what I need total but as a start, I think it would be awesome to raise 2 grand...

I know whenever I donate to cause, I want to know what it's going toward... Well, see below...

------> My airfare to and from Hungary
------> Polly's fare as excessive baggage
------> Starter items for apartment (I can't pack this stuff)
------> Whatever survival means living ten months in a foreign country
------> Occasional weekend missions trips to Berlin, Romania, Czech, etc.
------> Electricity in my apartment

Please go check out the school's and church's websites. And check out of my own church and take a look at the missions section. It's amazing that we're going into all the world!

The School
The Church
Home Church

If you can't support financially, maybe you can pray for me because that is just as important! I will post my list of needs and details in the right side also.. Maybe you will see something that you can help with? In advance.. thank you, thank you, thank you!!

ps. I made my 10 lbs lost mark!!

He called me the "s" word...

2008-06-13T13:47:00.009-04:00

What?! Who!? Tell me!! Woah Nelly... not that "s" word..

The conversation went a little like this:

Random guy: Heeeeeeeeeeeeey, pretty lady. My name's Michael. What's your name?

Me: Tina.

RG: I'm from South Carolina. Where you from?

Me: Here.

RG: Ooooh, can you tell me some fun places that I should go, seeing how you're a native?

Me: (think to myself that I could already smell all of those "fun places" and smile politely)

RG: Don't you wanna hang out with me? Mmm, you're so fiiiiiiiiiine and so SCRUMPTIOUS. MMMMMMMMMM.

Me: No thanks. I have plans.

RG: No thanks?, he said amazed that he was being turned down. Oh, I see. You have a girls night out. You married, engaged? (all to which I shake my head). C'mooooooooooooooon. Man, you are sooo beautiful. I can't HANDLE it... Mmm, mmm, mmm... SCRUMPtious.

Me: Ok girls, time to go.

Toll to downtown Baltimore with my girls - $4
Eating an awesome dinner at the Cheesecake Factory - $79
Being called scrumptious twice in 5 minutes - Priceless

Life Update

2008-06-10T13:14:00.008-04:00

I don't even know how to begin this.. I feel like I can't find the right words to say what I want to say.. . But I've been wanting to update you on my life so here goes...

There is a man that maybe if it weren't for the life he lived, the message he preached, the things he taught... I would be living a much different life. It was not an accident that I heard him speak one day. His words were very eloquent, he was well read. I felt sometimes that I needed always have a dictionary on hand. But he challenged me to think higher, live better, love beyond.. He had the kindest eyes. You knew he understood, he cared. This man was there for me during one of my darkest trials... he was my friend. He taught me how to be trust, how to forgive. With his life, he showed me that love really can conquer all. He was my Pastor for 10 years. And he passed from time into eternity Tuesday, June 3rd in the evening. He didn't just impact my life but thousands of others. I am sad but yet rejoice.. Because I believe what he preached about.. That this life is not the end.. and that his life continues. There will be a memorial to celebrate his life on Saturday.. It's been said that anywhere between 3500 and 5000 people will be there. If you are interested in reading about him, click this link.

We have death and then we have life.. I also have four exchanges students living with me. They just moved in last week and already they are a blast... full of energy. This time they are all from Russian and wee are having a good time together. I hope that this summer will be an amazing one. I am already getting less sleep. :) Ps. I am finally starting to notice a change in my body.. less pudgy around the stomach.

My weight has changed... for the better.. I broke out of the 178's and today saw the 177's.. 177.2 to be exact. One more pound until my "10 pounds lost" mark! Last week I gained..I think I was up to 182 or some crazy number like that but I think it was TOM weight because it fell off this week. Also, the temps for the last few days have been in the 100's so I am sweating my @$$ off... and am not very hungry except for salads and water. I've been moving more lately too! I started running last week, swam three time last week, and played volleyball for 2 hours yesterday. I'm a moving machine! :)

I'm sorry for having been quiet recently.. sometimes when life throws stuff at you, the capacity for other things gets smaller. Heck, I hadn't even checked my email in a week! If you really, really, really want to find me (like all my tried and true stalkers).. I'm on Facebook. Send me an email with your name/email address and I'll add you.

Hugs...

The 178's are taunting me...

2008-05-27T09:31:00.012-04:00

Ok, I'm not complaining.. but how much longer can I be in the 178s? I did lose again though.. a small loss.. 0.4 lbs! I have to be honest, I was scared because at some point, I forget which day, I weighed back in the 180s!!

This weekend was pretty busy but fun and relaxing! And you know that I'm the resident photog wherever I go, so on to my pics...

Friday - Friday night I ended up going to my church's annual Grace Hour banquet which is a fundraiser for our radio program. I didn't think I was gonna go because 1. I didn't get asked and 2. I didn't really have the extra cash for fork out for it. But much to my surprise, I got a call that my friend bought a table and they had an extra seat! So I did get to go after all....

My other dad

My sister and bff

Our feet.. Don't mind my cankles.

Saturday - I worked in the morning and then went to hang out with Mel and her 4 yr old. I promised him that we were gonna hang out soon, just the three of us and Saturday turned out perfectly! We went mini-golfing!

The three of us

A hole in ONE!

Sunday - I was a big bum.

Monday - Memorial Day was spent by the pool ALL DAY LONG. What a fun day though! Swimming, cookouting, hot tubbing, tanning (and burning my nose).. perfection.

Polly is still exhausted from yesterday. Mommy like.

Collin - one of the twins

Debbie, one of Mel's sisters.
She apparently only takes "normal" pics if they are candid or if she has sunglasses on.Sorry for the pic overload but I know some of you love it and I had to get you caught up somehow!! It's semi-quiet here (at work) so I'll be making my blog rounds. Hope you guys had a great weekend and are having a wonderful day!

The Order

2008-05-22T21:34:00.007-04:00

We, as woman (or men), love losing weight... if we're trying that is. My mom is from a completely different species. She attempts (and fails) at gaining weight. But I'm not writing this to get in a pissy mood... so I will move on.

I love that the scale is cooperating lately.. 7.6 pounds so far since April 28th. I can't believe I'm probably only a couple of weeks away from the 10 pound mark. SO EXCITING. But I got to thinking (and this isn't really a complaint, more fact stating than anything) about the places that my body loses first. It usually has always happened in this order. Trust me, years of diets and body abuse and I've pretty much memorized the pattern.

1. Face
2. Right under my knee cap (seriously)
3. Boobs (grrr)
4. Waist
5. Hips
6. Legs

Tonight I was looking at pictures from the same date that I "began AGAIN" and compared them to pics taken from just last week. Do you see anything? I looked and think maybe but I'm not sure... Maybe a hint less of my second chin??

Just for fun, I started the comparison with a pic from March of last year...

3/2007

4/28/08

5/17/08

Body shots (no, not those kind) to come in about a month...

Half Pound

2008-05-20T09:38:00.003-04:00

In honor of my 0.6 loss, I did a little photo research.

Great, now I'm hungry.

Ok, I'm back

2008-05-19T20:52:00.010-04:00

Wow, what a whirlwind this week has been. If you've been tuning in, I "stopped by" real quick a few days ago and let the world know why I was MIA. Nothing like being sick in the summer (ok, spring) time. Actually, even though I've been 1. wicked busy 2. stupidly sick 3. overly tired, I've managed to stay on track. I weigh myself tomorrow to see how I really am doing but I think that the scale will be on my side.. or at least stay the same.

I'm starting to feel like a human being again but forgive me if I go a few days without posting. I'm the only one in the office and at times, it's been pretty busy and by the time I get home, I just want to go to bed. Even though I've never had a kid, I think the feeling may be slightly comparable to being a new mom.

Ooooh, yeah... I didn't want to publish comments yet until I've read each one and responded. So if you're wondering where your comment is... never you fear, it's still there! I just wanna make sure I get back to you and if I publish.. I tend to forget.

You guys are the best! I hope you're having a great week in all of our lives. I'm thinking about each one of you. Will try to get back to everyone this week. But for your entertainment.. here are pictures from our teen bible study/cookout/pool party this past Saturday...

Before the study started, a little R & R...

One of the twins.. He agreed to be my "lovey". I'm soooo keeping him.

Our awesome teens on a Saturday night...

Don't think Polly missed out in the fun.

She was there all day and got SO MUCH attention. SPOILED.

(this pic is for you Steph)

Hot Tubbin' with the teens...

Sick = MIA excuse

2008-05-16T17:43:00.003-04:00

OMG!! I just checked my email and before I headed out, I wanted to make a quick post because a certain someone *coughStephcough* was looking for me.

I've been sick. Sunday night I started feeling a little something coming on.. Monday I ignored it.. Tuesday it began to rear its' ugly head.. and well for the rest of the week, I've been down... Coughing, sniffling, sneezing, stuffy head.. take lots of stuff to make me sleepy so I can rest..

Aaah... but I think it's starting to get better. And I'll be back to normal.. probably this weekend!

Top that off with I'm the only person on staff in the office (because we had some massive layoffs) so I have to go in.. and because of the rain, I've been busy.. I really wished I could have been in bed but I'm outta sick/vacation time anyway.

Thanks for missing me! I miss you too.. I've just been sleeping in my spare time. I know you guys understand, right?

Compliment much?

2008-05-12T19:43:00.002-04:00

Most of us in our bloggy community are women. I don't think I have any men on my friend's list but if I do, you may appreciate this too.

We like compliments. To be told we look pretty. You smell good. Those are nice shoes. Wow, you look skinny (this is my personal favorite). Great outfit. You get my point. If you didn't know what a compliment was, now you do.

Today this happened.

MALE Co-worker (stops in his tracks, stares at me): Did you do something different with your hair?

Me: Um, no. I just blew it dry like ~~whenever I'm not being lazy~~ usual.

Co-worker: Are you sure? It looks different. It looks REALLY dark.

Me: Well, that tends to happen when you have black hair.

Co-worker: No, no... something is different. *He thinks for a minute.* Oh, I know.. you WASHED it.

Me: *I just force a mini smile and look back at my computer with some very non-Christian vocabulary words swirling around in my brain.*

And this is how the conversation should have gone.

FEMALE Co-worker (stops in her tracks, stares at me): OMG! Your hair!! It looks so good!! How did you get it to do that?? Did you just get it cut?

Me: Nope, no cut. Just decided to stop being lazy and actually DO my hair for once. Just a blow dry and flat iron. You like?

Co-worker: Yeah, it looks REALLY good! Did you color it? It's really shiny...

Me: No, no color.. just good hair moisturizer!

Co-worker: Wow, I love it like that.

Me: Awww, thanks! *I go back to looking at the computer with a smile on my face, feeling pretty darn good*.

ps. I made my first goal of five pounds.. Can I get a woo-woo!?!

Four Wheelin'

2008-05-10T10:22:00.008-04:00

Those are my leggos, after about 2 hours of skating.

You know you love it when you think you know what my post is gonna be about and then I change it all up on you. I'm snappy like that.

Last night I earned some serious activity points and it all started when I decided to spend some time with a couple of my church's teens last night.

Exhibit 1 - Rollerskates

Exhibit B - Tina on said rollerskates
Exhibit 3 - Probably not one of my best calls as far as judgement goes. We were totally whizzing around as I tried to capture this.Exhibit 4 - Evidence of joy from racing around and around in a circle for hours on end.

I got in last night close to midnight, I think. But man, it was well worth it. I love teenagers.. feisty, adventures, honest (well, sometimes) and when they love you, they really love you. This time was for them but I came away feeling like a million bucks (and a little sore too). And you know what else I took away from this, I love exercise that doesn't really seem like exercise i.e. FUN. Give me some other "fun" ideas that you do so maybe it'll encourage me to get moving and burn, burn, burn!

I hope you all are having the best weekend!

Stalker

2008-05-09T09:06:00.002-04:00

Swizzle and I kid with each other that we are each other's stalker. We really are. She comes on over to my place it seem just when I need a good kick in the butt ie. I've been in hiding. Well, this story has nothing to do with her but I thought it was ~~funny~~, ~~creepy~~ worth telling because it's sorta kinda an NSV.

The other day as I was walking into work, my cell phone rang. It was a girl that used to work with me and would like to still be working with me but doesn't. It's usually busy as soon as I walk in, so I didn't answer. A few minutes later I got a text.... from that same girl. It read, Did you get skinny? Because I just drove by and you look really skinny.

Thank the heavens for good outfits.. because I'm NOT skinny.. but in that 5 second drive by... I looked it.

Creepy or otherwise, I'll take it!

What's in your crystal (light ) ball?

2008-05-08T12:48:00.003-04:00

Right now I'm listening to the birds chirp and Polly walk around the office. It's so quiet in here. Sometimes I utterly hate that, to be alone, but today it's okay. I am starting to get caught up on my reading (your blogs of course) and it's funny how life just sort of moves on, even when your own may be at a standstill. Amanda's had her baby, Steph has a baby brewing.. life just sort of continues.. I love that though. When I'm ready to "come out of hiding" everyone is still waiting there.... I'm sort of drifting off in thought here..

I am thinking about some very big changes in my life in the upcoming... months?? maybe, the next year?? A move, to another country, to serve, to build up others, to teach... I spent four years of my life teaching and while it was hard work, it was the best times of my life. Kids put a fire in ya, keep you on your toes, keep you thinking "outside the box". They challenge us to be real. Kids hate superficiality, don't they? And the way they love.. wow! Each morning is new with them.. love to wake up in the morning and hate to go to bed. Man! I wanna be like that.. excited about life that I can't wait until my feet touch the floor.

I wonder where we will all be in a year. What do you want to do? What do you think you'll be doing?

9-1-1

2008-05-06T19:09:00.015-04:00

Someone call 9-1-1 because I've fallen off the blog universe and I can't get up.

Wow, what a freakin' two weeks this has been, huh?

I am doing... much better than I ever could have thought. Death is hard time (for me) and I just am not a fan of people I love leaving this earth. Who is, right?

I was able to go home to Mass.. be with mom and dad, my grandma, my aunts, uncle and gazillion cousins. Though they were sad times, it was really priceless to see and hug everyone. Then after that I returned to work for one day and then headed off to Camp Canadensis with our church's teens. Man are they awesome! It was what I needed as a distraction for sure.

When I finish this post, I'm putting some pictures of our time there.. And just so you know, I'm getting back on track (I started again today). Oh and I lost two pounds from last week.. I decided to cut sugar and wheat from my diet for a while. I feel like I have an allergy or something because my butt gets bigger every time I eat the stuff.

I'm ready to be back with you guys. Sorry for the major withdrawal. And thanks for loving me (and missing me).

HOME

Totally am daddy's girl.

This is "downtown" Taunton. This place is called the Taunton Green.
Look it up. It's pretty historic. And my mom is totally being bossy.

Generations of hot Portuguese blood.

Another "Green" picture.

CAMP CANADENSIS

Can't you just smell the fresh air?

Can't have camp without a big ol' campfire!

Good form. My team won! Man, I got some exercise that day!
Swizzle I will be using that toward the challenge thank you very much.

It was foggy and cold in the mountains.

Am I a future leader?

If I hear one more joke about someone getting their rifle when they see this pic, I just may scream.

A pic I actually like of me.

Man, now I have to spend the next few catching up on everyone. Wondering if Amanda has had that baby yet?!? Love you guys!

MA bound

2008-04-29T14:43:00.003-04:00

Sorry for being MIA.. just dealing with the family stuff, my emotions...and really letting God deal with me and be my "very present help in time of need". I haven't fallen too far off the wagon but it hasn't been my focus either. Just wanted to let you guys know I'm doing okay, sad sometimes.. but God is faithful.

I'm heading up north to be with the family tonight, spending one day (because I can't afford to be off longer than that) and then driving back thru the night Wednesday, after the memorial.

I have some sentences I want to share, many things on my heart.. more to come soon.

I love you guys, thanks for the support and being there for me in this tough time.

Here are some flowers for you all!

Family

2008-04-22T19:11:00.002-04:00

I feel like for the past few months, every few weeks or so, I've known someone who has passed.

This time, it's my family. My auntie..

I'm a little numb right now... feel so removed because all of my family is in Mass.. I'm waiting to hear about arrangement details and then I will head up.

I covet your prayers.

Sink, Swim or Float?

2008-04-21T20:55:00.008-04:00

I was talking with a friend this weekend and she was shared with me a story about why (and how) she began taking swim class at her college. As part of her major, she was required to take physical education and she basically kept putting it off until she was forced to make a decision. Now everything about her HATES to exercise so she went looking for the easy A, leading her to sign up for a beginner's swim class. The instructor asked the class to do a few different exercises and when he noticed her, he caught on to her rather quickly and pulled her aside and asked why she was in that class. She said, "to be honest, I wanted an easy A". He appreciated her honesty and with that said, "you will get an A in my class but you will work for it". He switched her to the advanced class.

In this advanced class, she saw students flying across the pool. She could barely swim for 3 minutes without struggling for breath. That was only the first class. And he told them that the next class he would double the time that they spent swimming. On this went until she got to 15 minutes and there she thought her capacity had been met. It wasn't. She now swims for 30 minutes and when she gets out of the pool, she is no longer winded.

Her teacher told her in the beginning to not worry about speed. He would rather that she do it right and be slow, then be fast and sloppy. So she focused on technique. She thought she knew her strengths but week by week her teacher would say "let's work on this"... and then she would realize that she had been doing it incorrectly the whole time. Each week, she relearned technique and with that her speed began to increase. Next week, she will begin taking the lifeguard class.

There are many great applications in this. First, about our capacity. We think we know what we can or can't handle. And then we experience something that pushes us, makes us go beyond ourselves, reach for something deeper. Swizzle is always saying to me "Tina, you CAN do this..". I love that because those words come after I've had a stinking horrendous day and yet she can see beyond the bad day to what I can do tomorrow. Second, every single goal we've set for ourselves doesn't need to be accomplished today - it may take months, or even years. The time doesn't matter as long as we get the technique right. We may have off days (man, like I did this weekend) but that comes because of years of bad habits that we are trying to undo. Those set backs are ok, and like someone wrote to me, are needed.. They are like challenges to keep us moving forward - which is the key in all of this. Continue moving forward.

With that said, my food:

Pleasedontlookatyesterdaysfoodlog...

2008-04-19T12:17:00.005-04:00

You guys are so gracious and kind to me. With your "you didn't do too bad".. "drink more water"... "it could be worse... "

Oh sweet niblets... yesterday was atrocious!!

Here's a recap... evil co-worker suggests Chinese for lunch. I eat Chinese for lunch but kinda nibble and don't really eat a whole lot. But the problem is I brought my leftovers home for dinner. And ate the whole dang thing. I should mention I started my morning off at Chick-fil-A... because I'm a little mad at Dunkin Donuts right.

I'm on point today and one "off" day isn't gonna kill me but Lordy lord lord.. I'm thinking that maybe I shouldn't have licked the brownie pan clean this morning. Thankfully I did Pilates. And don't have any more Chinese food in the house. But I have a baby shower, which I am planning NOT to eat at... hanging out with some girls and then hanging out with my teens tonight.

It's 74 out.. and is supposed to be like 80 something.. yesterday was 85!! So that'll keep me from having a huge appetite at least.

Must .... drink.... water...

Progress Pictures

2008-04-18T09:06:00.008-04:00

Disclaimer: I have never professed to know how to garden. I just plant things and hope that they stay alive.

The "Befores" (last year)

The "Afters"

This "little" guy looks like he got into mommy's steroids. I was feeding them Miracle Grow.. I guess it worked!

The little bugger in the last pic is sprouting up in a few places in my garden... I know they aren't weeds (I've been know many times to say to my neighbor "this is so pretty" and she says "I'm pretty sure that's a weed.. ") ... LOL. I'm pretty sure they turn into the tall plants seen in the first picture.. eventually they bloom and have bright orange and red flowers. I just have no idea what they are or why they are popping up in random places.

On the bulges topic, I did take some close portraits last night... Because I'm starting to lose inches, I'm curious about what will happen with my face in the next month. Stay tuned.. they WILL get posted.

Half Inch

2008-04-17T09:57:00.004-04:00

Oh yeah... I'm down a half inch in in my waist in 18 days.... WOO HOO!!

I want to stay positive so no scale numbers and no other measurements.. YET.

Food post...

2008-04-16T23:49:00.003-04:00

Just sharing my food tonight... UGH, although somehow I still managed to stay in my calorie range. Don't ask me how that happened.

If you're looking for a read, please read yesterday's post. Kinda personal, but wanted to share a little bit of me.

Funny thing is today I was feeling a little vulnerable when no one was responding... Thank you to those you wrote to me.. I know that I'm not alone in my struggles - your words are an encouragement.

Thank you friends!

Shampoo Girl...

2008-04-15T21:08:00.010-04:00

Courtesy of Tina's Canon

That picture is of the teens in our church. Once a month, they run the church service. Greeting at the door, leading music, opening and closing prayers. Those are MY kids and I'm so proud of them. I had no idea what I wanted to write about tonight until I started thinking about this.... it's not really a weight post.. more a "getting to know Tina" read...

This afternoon after a bunch of annoying things happened at work, I updated my facebook status to say "Tina is very annoyed right now". I received a message on my wall that said "... don't be annoyed because you're beautiful and you have a really good shampoo girl.. " She is a teen in my church and is probably one of the sweetest people I know... and I could have just hugged her. That led me to another thought...

I'm not sure if I've shared this but from 1999-2004, I was a teacher at a school for kids that have different learning challenges (ADD, ADHD, ED, Asperger's, Dyslexia..). I taught Math to grades 5-12, Chemistry to the high school and computers/sign language as an elective. It was hard work, long hours, little pay... but the reward of seeing a kid complete my course.. when they were pronounced as failures and they would never succeed.. I can't explain the feeling.

During this time I was battling with my own demons.. alcohol and depression to name a few... I mention this because my best moments were when I could forget about myself and focus on someone else - my problems seemed infinitely smaller in comparison.

Years later I no longer struggle with alcohol but sometimes battle a little with depression. Not clinically like I was but just sometimes feeling a little down... worrying about my problems, my weight, how many friends I have, what people are thinking about me, being far from my family.. I kind of got in a rut and I really noticed it recently. So I decided to do something about it..

I am starting to hang out with our teenagers in the church again and am realizing that they need me. They need my investment, my care, my concern.. and maybe even the wisdom of my years. These kids are quite awesome.. they face so many challenges, many times as soon as they get out of bed. It's my privilege to be their friend..

This walk of faith, life we live.. man, it's bumpy sometimes, right?

Thankful or not?

2008-04-14T18:03:00.005-04:00

Today I broiled.

So no injuries, burns or other wounds to declare. The story about my icky burn is not too fabulous. Basically I was making chicken noodle soup, a few of the noodles stuck to the bottom of the pan, I tried to get them up and then the boiling hot water splashed on my shirt, the shirt stuck to my skin.. and the rest is history... blistering, ouchiness history. Apparently my bff received an email that my pictures were gross (and they thought they were sores)... so I opted to just take them down altogether. I feel a bit censored. :o)

I found out today that I owe $2,000 to the IRS. I guess it could have been worse... I'd like for it to be better.. but what's a girl gonna do. I just recently heard "maybe you can't control the situation, but you can control how you'll behave in that situation". So instead of thinking about my monthly payment, how this will hurt for a while.. I choose to be thankful for:

life (seriously... I shouldn't have made it to 29)
a roof
a bed to lay my head
an awesome job
food in the fridge
people that genuinely care for my life
the ability to exercise and feel the burn when I have a great workout

You guys are the best! I'm off to do my Pilates.. OUCH.

Kitchen Casualites

2008-04-13T09:03:00.003-04:00

Do you think Betty Crocker is trying to send me a message? First, I forget to turn the stove on. Then I forget to put food in the oven. And now, when I've managed to successfully pull off steps one and two, I do this..

picture removed by author - trust me, it was gross.

That's a second degree boo boo on my stomach. Yes, it still hurts like h-e-double hockey sticks.

Hungry VCR

2008-04-12T12:09:00.003-04:00

Courtesy of the view from my front yard

Aah, TOM has moved on. And I've been cheating on you guys with the warm weather.

This morning I was excited to find that it was quite beautiful out - it's been in the high 60's, mid 70's for the past 3 days - and I decided to get some things done. I love spring cleaning! Polly and I drove to DD.. I got a lite latte (and a donut, shh don't tell) and headed back to the house to do a little gardening. I did some weeding and then it started raining. My hair is not the type that looks all cute when it gets sprinkled upon, so inside I went.

I thought, hmm.. what will I do? PILATES! So I searched for my video (yes, VHS.. I bought it years ago), found it and went downstairs and popped it into the VCR. Then I remembered that I never did quite figure out how to hook that thing up (my DVD player and satellite box work just fine thank you very much). So upstairs I went.. and connected my other VCR to the TV in my room. Success! And then the VCR ate my tape. It still won't give it back. Aaargh. Talk about try and try again.

Can I just say I love the internet? Nothing was going to stop me from exercising today so I figured if you can find toilets that weigh your #2... then I certainly would be able to find an exercise vid or something.. and boy, did I.

Ouch.

Pant.

I did three videos... One ten minute abs workout.. one five minute abs workout (TOUGH).. and the other was a five minute "Legs to Die For" pilates vid. They were all good (the last, the narrator was a little annoying)... but they were all tough. Any of you use the interweb for your exercise videos? Recommend some to me..

I'm off to enjoy the 70's weather and take a walk with Polly. Enjoy your weekend!

How'd you do that?

2008-04-08T23:18:00.006-04:00

Today would not be the day to check out my food log. I know because I said that, you probably will anyway.. but I'm warning you, it ain't pretty. Just remember, I told you not to look.

Tonight my ~~evil~~ precious TOM has descended... and that means in the next few hours Tom's friends, Cramps will be stopping in. I hear that Migraine may be in the neighborhood too. Tom's parties' suck! *smile*

On another note, I thought that because I've been asked this question a few times by email and on my blog, and I need a distraction from complaining about my hormonal issues, it'd be a good idea to answer this.

How do you get your food chart into your blog?
I know that everyone has their own way but I love the world of screen shots. A friend of mine introduced this idea to me probably sometime last year and then I recently thought, why not use a screen shot for my blog too, instead of creating charts all over the place. Who has time for that?

Screen shots are just that... shots or pictures of your screen and then saves them to your computer as picture files (.jpeg, .gif, etc). At home & work, I have a program called SnagIt.. but that program gives you a free trial then you have to pay. I have also used ScreenHunter 5.0. That is a completely free program and does the same thing that SnagIt does..

1. Download a screen shot program.
2. It is easiest to have open on your screen whatever you want to take a picture of. For example, if you want to take a picture of your Spark stuff, open Spark, get your table on the screen in front of you and then... You more advanced kids, can use a HotKey.
3. Open/run the program. These programs are pretty user friendly. They say things like "click here to capture the whole screen" or "capture just what I select".. things like that. Select what you want to capture.... the program will save it to your computer.
4. Go to your blog. Type lots of words (or none at all) and then click the Add Image button. Find your image as if you're looking for a photo.. and then upload.

It's as easy as 1-2-3-4! Let me know if you're trying it.. or if you need help. I won't laugh. Me promise.

Sumo Wrestler

2008-04-07T20:37:00.004-04:00

Something to think about...

"... when sumo wrestlers want to gain weight, they deprive themselves of breakfast. It messes up their metabolism.."

Giant, cloth diapers anyone? That's what I thought.

My weigh in sucked today... as I thought it would. TOM is near and combine that with the water factor and not eating enough... and you have a 3.8 pound gain... Not discouraged... even though I thought I kicked @$$ this week (my first week back)... Better WI's to come, right? I know I sound all positive but today would be one of those days to delurk and lend some kind words...

Oh, my eating did NOT rock today... Unless I can count skittles as a fruit serving???

Cooking Lesson #102

2008-04-06T21:53:00.008-04:00

In this segment of Cooking with Tina, we will learn another very important cooking tip.

As previously mentioned, the stove or oven should be turned on. Check.

I'm one of those that pretty much has a list of sites I hit on the world wide web as soon as I settle in. My blog, facebook, email... I got a little carried away with Facebook tonight and found myself catching up on the Scrabble and Scramble games... then all of a sudden, I said "oh shoot".. my turkey burger is probably burned. I headed down the stairs, smelling what I thought was a crisped turkey burger. Not even close. I had left it sitting ON the stove instead of IN the oven.

On another funny note, tonight someone mistook me for a Nigerian woman that comes to our church. That's funny because I'm always saying "no, in fact, we DON'T ALL LOOK ALIKE". The Nigerian thing was a first for me.. usually it's mixed something or other, Indian, sometimes people get it right and say Portuguese... n-y-way....

I got on the scale tonight... just to see.. and my weight has gone up... I know I shouldn't have weigh myself at night.. and my WI is tomorrow but I was just curious. I really think that I haven't been eating enough. I've stayed within my POINTS all week (today was my only "off" day)... only using a few flexies here and there... so overeating has not been the issue. I'm sure it's water (not getting enough) and not enough food and that my TOM is right around the corner... I'm not gonna have a bad attitude about it though... I'm in this... feet first... *big splash*

Diaper Changes

2008-04-05T22:29:00.010-04:00

No, I'm not pregnant. And no, I didn't just have a baby. Nice try though.

Polly's in heat... and BOY is she ornery... more than her usual self. She is testing her mommy's patience and right when my own TOM is about to arrive. Lovely.

I had a very good week... eating, exercising wise. I love posting my food... that little extra accountability I feel when I know that someone (the entire world freakin' wide web) will be able to read about my indiscretions. I'm thinking that I may do a weigh in every 10 days, instead of every 7.. we'll see though. You know I will at least sneak a peek on the 7th day!

In honor of both spring and all things hormonal, I've posted pics.

Five On Friday

2008-04-04T10:11:00.003-04:00

List:

5 everyday favorites
4 mood lifters
3 reasons to get out of bed
2 people you love
1 thing you love about yourself

5 - comfy clothes when I get home from work, Polly, morning coffee, bathtime, Tivo watching

4 - a good laugh, an unexpected email, a really great message at church, forgetting about myself

3 - paycheck, Polly is doing the pee pee dance, can't reach the alarm

2 - my dad & Jesus

1 - I kill at word games like Scrabble & Boggle.

Thanks!

A Tip & The Neighborhood Bully

2008-04-03T12:43:00.005-04:00

A tip

I've been on track for 4 days.. wahoo!! And part of that staying on track is making sure that I eat breakfast (and make it at home - it's just healthier that way). This morning, I was making my usual four point ham/egg/cheese sandwich... Bread in the toaster. Cooking spray in the pan. Egg in the pan. Then I waited. And waited. And began to wonder after a few minutes why my egg was not cooking. Probably would have helped if the stove was ON.

Yes, I'm fantastic.

Neighborhood bully

The other part of staying on track has been exercise, daily exercise, which means walking the Boxer. We were enjoying a nice brisk walk in the cool April air last night when I heard growls and barking. The next thing I knew a dog twice Polly's size was charging at me and her. I don't know if I have mommy instincts or not but I ended up getting between the two dogs. It felt like forever... the dog kept circling me trying to get at Polly. Polly was scared and kept trying to hide behind me! She's so friendly and especially loves to play with the big dogs... I don't think she's come across a mean one yet.. until last night. That dog actually nipped at Polly's behind! The owner came rushing over, apologizing over and over and explaining that she got loose from her.. but geez lady... get a handle on Brutus especially since you SAW us walking by. Thankfully in spite of my stupidity (who gets between two dogs??) we're both ok...

Food

2008-04-02T18:05:00.001-04:00

I promised to upload my food for tonight.... and here it is. So far I'm staying away from Rita's... day 3...

I don't like ice cream...

2008-04-02T00:01:00.002-04:00

... but I love me some Rita's.

What is Rita's? First of all, shame on you. Second, it's Italian ice and I never make it thru the summer without going.. everyday. Thankfully the ice is fat free.. the custard, I'm not so sure.. I'll have to double check those numbers. But I ask if you're seeing daily servings on Rita's on my food diary, could you please harass me a little? Thanks.

And for those of you going thru Polly withdrawal, a video. Please ignore the eye crusties which aren't quite crusties and pay close attention not to my annoyingly high voice but to how little I actually do share with her..

You'll see.

Don't worry, food will be posted tonight!

Out with the old...

2008-04-01T23:00:00.008-04:00

Whew, Day 2 of being back on track. It feels good but I must admit today I was HUNGRY. I ate breakfast, packed lunch, one snack and then after working an 11 hour day I made it home to make dinner. My fridge being empty has had a positive effect on my eating right. You should try it!

News:
I want to start broadcasting what I eat. Like I did yesterday. I may not do it everyday.. but I want to try to do it as much as possible. When I have thoughts like "I'd better not eat that because the whole world will be able to see why I am squeezing my boobies into a size 34 when I'm a size 41 (give or take an inch or two)" - it helps to have my bloggy world accountability. I really am trying again. Which leads me to my NSV....

NSV:
Tomorrow is Wednesday... actually in one hour it will be Wednesday. And for me, that means sales meeting day. More times than not, I've been the little baker. Brownies, cupcakes, streusels... all POINTS unfriendly foods of course. Well, today while I was closing out my day, I decided to do something healthy... something I can eat too because Lord knows I hate watching other people eat.

Voila! I made an extra one too so my fridge wouldn't be lonely.

I'm thinking about heading back to the WW meetings. I did so well the first time around (lost 43 or 45 lbs) and had a really great leader. I'm wondering, who prefers online to the meetings?

Dear Commitment & Motivation,

2008-03-31T19:50:00.005-04:00

I feel like I am back to myself again.. FINALLY. This morning (actually last night) I decided I was going to get up early... 530 a.m. early.. and move. I wasn't sure if I would hit the gym or if I would take the boxer for a walk but my goal was to get up. And you know how I hate to get up in the morning. And how I usually hit snooze about a million times before I do manage to crawl out of bed. But this morning, I hit snooze... once.. and then at 5:40 I got out of bed, threw on my sweats and decided I would take Polly for a 30 minute walk. Mo, every now and then I lose you for whatever reason - life gets busy, illness hits home, tired of not seeing the scale move - but then I come back (probably too many episode of Bulging Brides)... But somehow, I think this is the important part... the coming back. Do you really care how many times I drift away? Or do you care more that I come back and dare to try again? I think it's the latter.

I took my measurements this morning.... I think they're good measurements.. for the Hulk. So Com, I'm back for more. I really wanna reduce those numbers. I mean today I squeezed my size 41 boobs into a 34 bra... that was painful. But I really like that bra. Or maybe I'm in denial. Probably a little bit of both.

I want to show you I mean business so here's my food diary for today:

I'm hungry but I will not snack... tonight. Hey, it's one day at a time, right?

Love,
The Hulky Girl

Travel thru time...

2008-03-26T19:27:00.008-04:00

Yep, not one of you guessed it either. Would you believe it's CRAB DIP!?! Even after I knew what it was, I kept referring to it as a hash brown something or other. Now I don't feel like such a schmuck. Thanks friends!

In this edition of travel thru time, we have:

a few years of a very bad perm
my first boyfriend.. his name begins with a D but I can't remember the whole thing!!
my first nekkid shots (thanks Mom)
me being nerdy posing with a certificate of achievement or some jazz like that
my preschool class... the girl I'm sitting next to I ended up befriending again in the 8th grade when she transferred to my school. I'm easy to spot.. the only brown person in the picture. :)
the tidal wave hairdo - thank you 1990's
the 8th grade prom formal; my hair was so huge and I think that this was the reason I hated purple for so long. Look at that dress!
me and Santa. I told him he had bad breath.
Tina all growed up... posing for the camera

Click on the picture.. it gets BIGGER.

I think this would be fun to do as a meme... so I'm tagging Swizzle, Mel, Kate, Laura, Amanda!

Dear Readers + Guessing Game

2008-03-24T19:33:00.003-04:00

Dear Readers,

I feel like I'm 90. Seriously. I'm feeling a heck of a lot better since my bout with the plague... but since then I am TIRED, all the time. I guess I need time to completely heal up and I'm trying my best to really listen to my body and what it's telling me my capacity is. The good news is I'm back on track. Wait, does Taco Bell for lunch count? I kid, I kid. Kinda. The appetite, although it has been for junk the last couple of weeks, has been minimal. Like once a day (maybe) minimal. I'm trying to get excited about food again but I pretty much have to force myself to eat. Any tips on eating when your appetite is nonexistent?

Speaking of food, let's play a little game... a guessing game. This beauty appeared at my friend's birthday party the other day. I guessed twice (incorrectly) what I thought it was... You play too!

I hope your Easter was great. I was thinking about you... This week I'm working on catching up and getting back to normal. Be patient with me, k?

Hugs.
Tina

Wordless Wednesday

2008-03-19T20:51:00.003-04:00

After not eating for a really long time, we came across these heavenly banana chocolate chip muffins.

Of course!

2008-03-18T19:29:00.006-04:00

Picture taken from the balcony of a friend's house in Budapest, Hungary.

Courtesy of Tina's Canon

... yesterday, last night, I decided to crawl from my bed and get my secret ailment remedy.. McD's french fries. I decided to put on a cute pink tee shirt, a black sweatshirt, my white poofy vest & my pajama bottoms. Don't judge me, they're COMFY. You say, what's the big deal? Well, my pajama bottoms have a black background with gynormous hot pink Victoria Secret lips on them. Yes, they do. They were a present but I love them nonetheless.

I ventured outside and OF COURSE all my neighbors were outside, just chatty chattin' away. And I live in the type of neighborhood where you make small talk.. I'm so antisocial sometimes and all my neighbors are really really nice. Chatty nice. Yep, I stopped.. giggled about my pj's.. made some joke about how I was "stylin" and then mosied off to my car. When I arrived back home, I was relieved to find them all tucked inside their cosey little homes until I noticed TWO MORE of my neighbors pulling in at the same time. When will I learn that everyone else in the world had to get dressed and SO DO I!!

Thank you to all who commented.. I am on the mend. I am not better (although I acted like Superwoman today at work) but I am getting there. Thanks for the get well vibes. I think they are working!

What I Alka Seltzer induced dreamed about last night:
- fighting a bunch of Ninjas
- flying thru the air -- a completely separate part of the dream
- frosting a chocolate cake for two of my friends, at a funeral
- running and hiding from bad guys, not related to the ninja dream
- oh and I was partially clothed at one point and couldn't get into my UNLOCKED car because I didn't have keys

The plague and pictures

2008-03-15T17:46:00.017-04:00

As some of you knew before I left, I was wrestling off and on with a touch of the flu that seemed to be going around. But I never quite got what everyone else had. I think it took a few days of staying up until 5am while in Budapest for my body to say "ha ha! now I will infect her with the full on plague". I won't bore you with the flu details because I think you all know what it means to be sick.

Ok, pictures... I took about 100 pictures a day and I'm not obnoxious enough to post each and every one, so for those that are curious, once I am back among the living, I will make a photo album and create a link for your viewing pleasure. Deal?

To enlarge pictures, simply clicky click on them.

My best friend and I at the Castle District.
One of my favorite pictures that I took. Someone told me I should submit it for a postcard. I'm just glad I figured out how to use my camera.
Our last evening in Budapest, we revisited the Castle District. I had never seen the castles at night. The air was quiet, peaceful.

A shot of the view from a friend's house. The last full day we were there, the sun decided to come out.

My obsession continues. I asked a scary looking Hungarian biker dude if I could pose with this beauty. He obliged.

I was really missing Polly. I think I spotted 3 or 4 boxers while over there. This "little guy" was so sweet and bouncy. Just like my Polly.

I made some new friends. This family is from Prague.

In the little town called Szentedre (sen-ten-dra). Everything was so quaint. I posted a picture of the hot chocolate. Amazing!Our walks thru the city were unique. Here we are again walking thru the Castle District to get to our friend's house. Note: it's daylight and there is a hawk above my head. Yes, that is sheer terror on my face.

We passed this church daily. It was majestic in size and character.

I'm glad I crawled out of bed to say hi to you all and to post some more pictures from the trip. What a freakin' fabulous time I had, it was better than last year which I didn't think was at all possible. Hanging out with old buds and making some new friends... going to new places, totally and completely acting like the tourist that I was. Yeah, I'm proud of it.

Thanks for your thoughts and well wishes! Now can anyone stop by with some Alka Seltzer? That would be great, thanks.

BUD pics...

2008-03-08T16:41:00.014-05:00

So right now I have half a brain. I'm SO sick. :( I had an itty bitty sore throat last night, went to sleep and woke up with this. I swear death is knocking on the door. Yeah, head.. throat.. nose.. body aching.. Tonight while the friends went out and about I stayed in and slept for about 4 hours. It felt sooooo good. But I'm not here to complain. I wish to taunt and make jealous. ;) The last four were taken today....

This is my friend's apartment on the Buda side. Yes, she lives on the fourth floor. Yes, there is an elevator. No we did not use it on the way down.

This a shot taken in Szentendre... an amazingly cute town with little shops and restaurants.

The Marzipan Museum
The Marzipan Lady
This is all candy. I had to take this. I love the Flinstones.

This is hot chocolate. Mel said "I wish I could capture this taste". It was like drinking melted chocolate. It was simply amazing.

Ok, stupid Budapest internet. I keep getting yelled at in Hungarian so I can only post a few.
Thanks for all your hellos! Hello back at ya. Swizzle, I can't wait to hear the story! Trust me, I have some good potty stories too. Thank you Europe. I'm headed back to bed. Hopefully to feel better in the morning. Hugs.

HI friends... from Budapest

2008-03-07T10:40:00.002-05:00

Well, I made it.. and all in one piece too! I'm at a friend's apartment in Budapest right now as we speak. I will probably be on the internet later in my hotel room so.. pictures to come. I'm feeling great, have lots of things to post about (especially some great pics) and am getting LOTS of walking in. Hugs to you all. Hope you're having a great week. Can't wait to catch up with you all soon.

OMGIMSOEXCITED

2008-03-04T20:38:00.005-05:00

:)

Aack, an 11 hour day at the office (yes, I played Scrabble and checked my email but I still worked hard nonetheless). Today, nearing the end of my day I said this: "... if worse comes to shove..." I concluded that either I have been influenced by the Dutch boss that I always tease for saying things like "four times four" when he means four wheel drive or I'm just in need of a break. Wow, I just spelled break "b-r-e-a-k-e".

I am so looking forward to 5 and a quarter days in Europe. Old friends to hug, new friends to torment... it's gonna be a great time! And I'm traveling with my best bud... who could ask for anything more?

Turns out I will have the interweb in my room when I get there - maybe - so I may post quickly if only to tell one of my stories or to make ya'll jealous with a picture or two.

Have an awesome week! I look forward to catchin' up with you guys when I return.

-Tina

ps. Yes, that's my airline. No, I'm not worried. Mel, don't you DARE watch this.

Confessions

2008-03-03T12:27:00.011-05:00

Photo courtesy of: Becky

Part #45201

1. I have been a bad lurker. I'm sowwwweeeeee!!!!! In my defense, I've had a lot going on.

2. I have been a bad commenter. See above.

3. I finally finished packing my clothes for Budapest. I still have my toiletries bag to take care of.

4. I found chewed bubble gum on my white carpet yesterday. Actually, Polly found it.

5. I have been eating HORRIBLY this past week and haven't tracked a darn thing either. Gotta love stress.

6. In Buda, I will walk ALOT. Hopefully I will come back lighter!

7. I am wondering if I still have readers. I have some new ones but my oldies?? Do you guys still love me? I really need to know!

8. I probably won't post while in Hungary. Internet=boku buckaroos

9. My eating detour will end when I return to the states next Tuesday.

Stay tuned! **please**

Fitness & maxi pads...

2008-03-01T12:34:00.007-05:00

Because today I do laundry and pack (I leave on WEDNESDAY!!)... I am posting two funnies. Thanks, Squiffy!

*************************************************************************************

Letter to Proctor & Gamble

This is an actual letter from an Austin, Texas woman sent to the
American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine
products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's
PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award-
winning letter. ...

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years
and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard
Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding
or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down
the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be
your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart
enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I
can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's
a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from
the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is
starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently
surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust
and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred
hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen
quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers
monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the
bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood
swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's
a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer
fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George
Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was
written by drunken chimps. Crazy!

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just
crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to
the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping
so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I
opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing,
were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'

Are you **ing kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny
middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing
happiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned
above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless
you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything
'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and
Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to
the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to
end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap
a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say
something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or
'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective
immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have
chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will
certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your
brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep.
Always.

Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin , TX

America's Next Top Model

2008-02-29T08:38:00.007-05:00

Ok, not quite but it was fun doing... You should try it too.. Which one do you like best?

Not goodbye.. we'll see you later.

2008-02-28T00:08:00.003-05:00

We gathered on Tuesday to say our final goodbyes to this man that had literally touched hundreds and hundreds of lives. Testimony after testimony was filled with how he had reached them, sacrificed his time, had served them with his talents, had listened, had given them a word, a verse, something that was perfectly in season. I know many, if not all of us, wondered why? How could this happen? When will it all make sense?

"Therefore judge nothing before the time, until the Lord come, who both will bring to light the hidden things of darkness, and will make manifest the counsels of the hearts: and then shall every man have praise of God."

I don't understand but I can only look to the one who will lead me, guide me through the places of desolation and incredible temptation and weakness. I'm tempted to ask why. But I won't. I believe in a perfect plan, and somehow while this is messy to the naked eye, one day it will all make sense.

In remembering him, we laughed and of course we cried. I bawled when there was a group picture of my dorm that appeared on the screen. He was our brother. Countless stories told that made us laugh, nod and say "yep, that's John". When the youth pastor said that "John followed all the rules" we all snickered and said "do you really think he did?". I don't know how this is possible but even in the midst of the sadness there was also joy. We were celebrating HIS LIFE. I felt quickened, almost alive because of this one man's life. It made me want to rush out and grab a struggling teenager and just love them. Or make that conversation with the best friend last a little longer. Or even go to church.. it made me want to be near the things that are eternal, that which will NEVER pass away.

John will be deeply missed but never forgotten. We will mourn the loss of a brother, servant and friend but one day we will see him again.

My note to my readers: I have to say that I was really humbled that even one person took a moment to post a comment to let me know that they were thinking about me. I don't take lightly any word spoken or written to me. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers - they brought great comfort to me. Because of that, I wanted to share what has been going on in my own heart.

Wordless Wednesday

2008-02-27T23:58:00.004-05:00

You know how this picture was taken, don't you? I heard mom go to get the camera. I just knew what she was up to. It was a Polaroid, so there are no quiet or smooth moves in the umpteen clicks that it takes to get the camera ready.

She threw open the door and of course! I stood up, in all my bare naked ass glory and covered my non-existent chest with a big cheesy smile.

Nude Reporter

2008-02-25T20:04:00.005-05:00

This conversation could be heard if you were a fly on my car window as I was on my way to class tonight.

Blah, blah, blah.. a lot of stuff that you don't need to know about.. blah, blah, blah.. Bryan Ackerman.

Mel: Who IS that? I always hear his name, but I don't know who that is. Sounds like a celebrity or a nude reporter.

Me: You know who he is.. he's the young guy that does sign language and did you just say nude reporter?

Mel: No, NUDE reporter.

Me: Um, NUDE reporter?

Mel: NO, NOON reporter.

Me: OOOOOH. A NOON reporter.

Mel: NOOOOOO!! A NOOOOOOON reporter. You know like reports the news.

Me: YES, I get it!! A noon reporter.

Mel: Oh my GOSH! N-E-W-S reporter.

Seriously, that's what I heard. I'm not even 30 yet. And you wonder why I need 2,000 cell phone minutes.

Forgive my absence...

2008-02-21T22:59:00.002-05:00

Some links to my newest posts won't work because I took them down. I'm not really in the mood to be bitchy or joke around. I just want to be close to my closest friends, snuggle tight until the lump in my throat and pain in my heart goes away. I'm not quitting.. just taking a break for a few days... The funeral is this weekend and the service to celebrate his life is Tuesday.

Thanks for your thoughts, prayers and kind words.

-Tina

to all my blogging buddies

2008-02-20T08:50:00.005-05:00

Yesterday was at times a particularly rough day. It's hard to think that someone I knew and was friends with is gone. Thanks for the kind words and prayers. His family and even closer friends will need it to get thru. I was and am still very sad about it but I know that no matter how messy the plan is... somehow it's perfect.

Big John

2008-02-19T09:10:00.005-05:00

This morning I learned that a friend of many died. I knew him as "big John", a face that was always around, a big brother type. A faithful member of my church, someone who loved God. He loved people, including the trying teenagers. He was truly a servant. His suffering (though silent and sort of a mystery to many) is over and he is with his Maker.

To me this is a lesson to be careful with our moments. To put aside the things in life that really aren't a big deal. If you can bite your tongue, swallow your pride.. do it. And if you can love, encourage someone, be a friend.. do that too. Time is too freakin' short.

Can you guess...

2008-02-18T18:35:00.002-05:00

... why my normally 40 minute commute from work to home took me an additional 20 minutes?

Maybe there was traffic? Nope. Holiday. Pretty nice flow if you ask me.

An accident? All was clear. And for Maryland, that's pretty darn good because it was raining out.

Detour? Nope, well..

Going into work I take the highway heading north. Going home I take the highway heading south. Well, I just plain forgot which direction I live, so I went North. I had to travel about 10-15 miles before the next exit.

I am simply stupendous.

Tactless Tina

2008-02-18T10:20:00.002-05:00

Sometimes, somedays I have little patience. There are certain people I tolerate with a deep sigh. There is this dude at work that calls me ALL THE TIME. It's not a real problem that he calls I guess, it's that it takes a really long time to get thru a conversation with him. Seriously, you can listen to the first minute, put the phone down for the next 20, pick it back up occasionally mmm hmming and you wouldn't have missed a thing. I swear!

So today I had to leave him a message and this is what it said.

"Hi, it's Tina. I have a customer that would like to schedule the work and I need the details of the job. Please call me at 1-800-XXX-XXXX. But you already know that number because you call me all the time."

That last part slipped out. I meant it, but I didn't mean for him to hear it. Oh Lord, when will I learn to count to ten before I utter such things.

At least the boys in the office thought it was funny.

Awwwwwww... woof

2008-02-17T09:11:00.001-05:00

November 2, 2005 was an absolutely amazing day.

Polly arrived with 6 sisters and 3 brothers. Just like me!

I handpicked her, pretty much days after I first saw her.
She was like a little teddy bear. Puppies are like newborns. Always sleeping, pooping or eating.

We think that's her with the purple ribbon.
She was always snuggling near her mommy.

I'm pretty sure Jake is holding Polly here.
Those are my sexy legs and slippers in the background.

They just walked all over each other.

Can you imagine what dinnertime was like?

Look at her now!

SS - Why Do I Blog?

2008-02-16T08:07:00.005-05:00

So this is my first time playing along with the Scrolling Saturdays' theme. Yay, I love being a virgin. Here is a post I've been thinking of re-posting. I originally began blogging over at Roni's place and then a few months in (I think), there was a crash in the server. Long story short, I began again here. Below is pretty much the reason I started the blog in the first place. Kind of a personal history. Originally posted May 29, 2007.

Why Do I Blog?
This is my second blog, created for the purpose of sharing with others the same struggles and successes in this category called weight loss. The funny thing is some days I don't even blog about weight related things - it's become a place for me to vent or just convey the craziness in my head. I already miss logging in to my Weightwatchen blog and 'talking' with so many that have become such a great support to me. For the most part I am beginning to find again those that were (and are) a staple to my daily blog reading. So glad to have this community! So...this is my story... about my weight, it's ups and downs (literally) and what I'm doing about it now. I know that I can do nothing of myself, without Christ so to Him for every ounce that is lost, I give Him the glory!

Forgive me, for this is long. If you are only interested in the answer to the question in my title, scroll to the bottom. Otherwise, read on. Be patient, or don't. Laugh, cry, nod when it seems I've written your story. I know I ramble, don't complete thoughts and sometimes sound like a lifetime tv for women ad, but this is my story…

Knobby Knees - I remember one time in my entire life where my knees could be described as such… I was 6. I ate like a moose but looked like a piece of spaghetti. I even remember being called by my doctors 'underweight'. Aaah, to relish the days before puberty. As I got older and neared the good ol' pubescent years, I remember grandma saying in her broken English, mixed with a little Portuguese, "when you grow up you are a gonna get a fatta if a you keepa eating like thatta". I laughed because I didn't think it was possible for me, Ms. Twig Thang herself to a.) grow up and b.) get fat

Aunt Flo & High School - Puberty was fun….not really. Glasses, braces and about 20 extra pounds that didn't quite belong on my belly and thighs. I HATED my body, the way I looked. My self esteem was in the toilet. I remember weighing about 150 lbs and standing no taller than 5'2?. I went thru times where I completely starved myself or forced every bit of food back up. I abused diet pills, laxatives…. Nothing worked longterm though. I realized I could never not eat so back on came the pounds. Oh boy, was I so jealous of my mom who was (and is still) soooo tiny. She actually has a problem gaining weight. Which I guess, unless you have been in that boat (which I never have been), it's a very frustrating ride. I couldn't understand why God had made me this way, almost cursed me. I wanted to be thin like my skinniest friends. Why couldn't I be?

The Freshman (minus 15) - Everyone talks about their freshman year being the time where they packed on the weight. I was the opposite, in fact, I'm not sure about the total weight but I went from a size 14/16 to a size 3/4 in about 4 months. Thank you Dr. Atkins. When I went back home to visit, everyone told me how great I looked. People I didn't know or who I thought didn't know me were suddenly my friend. It was funny to me, but somehow I think there was a need to be loved by those very people. It was that year that I had my my second 'real' boyfriend, seemed to gain many friends in my life once again I was sorta liking the way I looked. I do remember the small voice in my head saying "a few more pounds". I was not completely satisfied with me, yet. The dangerous thing was I had tricked myself into thinking there WOULD be a point where I was satisfied. I wasn't. I stopped eating 'only protein' and went back to a normal way of eating. Of course, I gained weight, probably about 10 lbs worth and it was then that my boyfriend's dad said to me "you look like you gained some weight, huh?" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Who does that? Sometime soon after that I joined the dojo where I began to study judo/jujitsu. The weight I had gained fell off and then some. I had it in my head that what I was seeing the mirror was not good enough. I didn't see "bony" - I saw a fat person looking back at her in the mirror. I remember what a low time that was. I think I weighed about 100 lbs (at 5'3?).

Bumps in the Road - My third and fourth years of college I stabilized in my weight. I was about 130 lbs but still very unhappy. I remember working out all the time and going on my high protein binges. I was very good friends with a stick thin model so that didn't help my 'issues' either. If I'm honest, the most unhealthy part of me during this time was my mind. I never did see myself the way others seemed to. During my senior year of college, I was hired to work with children who had learning disabilities. I think this was the greatest time of my life because for once, I was so focused on others and their needs, that I stopped look for and at my faults, real or imagined. Those kids brought out the best in me and loved me, whether I had a full face of makeup on or had rolled in with my "casual Friday" outfit. They loved me so much that I didn't notice my weight gain. Until I saw myself in a picture and stepped on the scale in my bathroom. It read (gulp) 180 lbs! I remember going downstairs and telling my roommate Kim who didn't believe a word of it. We marched upstairs together, I stepped on the scale, and she said "oh damn". Yes, oh damn, I have a big butt and didn't notice it till now. That began my WW journey.

Hi, My Name Is - I joined WW in the winter of 2003. For the first time I learned not only what but how to eat. Not to sound corny here but I learned how to like myself and be proud of my accomplishments, even if they came in 0.4 increments. My leader was so fun and I had a friend that I'd attend the meetings with at 7:00 a.m. on Saturdays. Holy cow, I still don't even know how I did that. Losing weight was actually kind of easy. I was a little obsessed with it, but not in that unhealthy college years way. My first time around at WW I lost 43 lbs! Soon after that in the summer of '03, I found a 3rd serious boyfriend. I never told him I did WW. At first, I'd just sneak to the meetings and then I quit altogether. I was doing okay for a while. Initially I lost a few more pounds but when we ended up being together for a while, comfort kicked in. We both gained weight together and you could say we were fat and happy. Well, I was fat and happy. He was just happy. The happiness with my fatness ended when the relationship ended. He moved out and I sank into a depression. It was after that I got on a scale decided to Dr. Phil my way through this one, and see if I could 'show him'. I went from 174 to 143 in about 3 months time. I could copy and paste from the other sections where compliments were many and unusual friends came my way. But just like those other sections, I didnt keep doing what I needed to.

How Did I Get Here Again - I am here 8 weeks into WW yet again. I've grown up some, still hate my body somedays but my mind has a different perspective. I'm probably the most comfortable in my skin than I've been ever in my life, even when I weigh 100 lbs. I'm proud of my journey because I think I am just starting to 'get' who I am. I'm not my fat roll, or my stretch marks. I am 'fearfully and wonderfully made'. All the parts that are me - physical, spiritual, mental, emotional - they are not by accident. I was designed with my, let's just call it, uniqueness. This goes for you too! Why do I blog here? To share the good, bad & ugly. Why WW again? Because I know it works. Enough said.

Editor's Note: I am doing WW yet again. I've learned that this really is a journey, as corny as that may sound to some of you. My brain was wired to think that weight loss was my goal, not keeping it off or actually maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Once I got to that magic number then everything would be okay. But it's not just about getting to that perfect number. We have bad days, bumps that throw us off, old demons that haunt... it's about getting up, brushing yourself off and moving forward. With life (including food), I don't take it one day at a time. It's less daunting to take it a breath, a second, one minute at a time...

Dear Pablo,

2008-02-15T16:29:00.005-05:00

You called my house last night about 100 times. I wasn't aware that Peru and Maryland have something in common. Do you know what it is? Google pointed out to me that we share the same time. So Pablo, when you rangy rang my phone from 11:30 pm to 1:30 am, it was the same time for you too. Maybe you don't have Google there in Peru? Or a bedtime? Can I send you a link? A sleeping pill?

I was nice to you last night, even when you annoyingly asked the same question over again. Yes, she received the flowers. No, Ms. Thang NO ESTA LA CASA. I mean, c'mon. I said it in YOUR language and I'm not even great with Spanglish. I hate repeating myself but I did that too... three times. For your sake. Maybe you missed a word or two that I said? Although your English did sound pretty good to me. I politely told you that it was late and that I had been sleeping. You apologized and then asked me again if she was home. Sigh. I mentioned this great invention called voice mail. Made for this very reason so you don't have to exhibit stalkerish qualities.

I cut you some slack, Pablo because I was ignorant of geographical things. I was patient and kind. But next time, I may not be so nice. I'm warning you. I saved the Fedex label from the package you sent your girl. I know where you live.

Sleepily,
Tina

Happy freakin' Valentines

2008-02-14T08:59:00.012-05:00

My morning started a little something like this.

I forgot to let Polly out last night before bed so this morning when she was doing the bathroom wiggle, I should have known that there wasn't much room to play. I moved as fast as I could. I mean, c'mon. I just woke up. Stumbling to the back door, with one eye open...Oh lord, what was that I just stepped in? Lovely. It's too early to step in warm, wet stuff. Actually, it's not too early. I'm running late. Again. Good thing Mel is driving today. And picking up coffees before she meets me. I knew I loved her.

I got dressed in about 5 minutes, splashed some water on my face, brushed my teeth, tidied my hair and I was ready to go. I get a phone call. It's the bff and she's at Walmart. Looking for a VD card for me because she forgot at home the one originally bought. So she was looking for the same card. At a different store. Did you get coffees? No, because I wanted to get you a card. She's so sweet but all I can respond is "I hate Valentines Day". Nice. I'm such a wonderful person. Maybe I'm grouchy because I stepped in dog pee.

Mel arrives a few minutes later and I gather up my belongings (including Polly) and head out the door. I put Polly in a sit/stay while I lock up. She takes off. I don't really care at this point because I still have my whole life to pile into Mel's big honkin' SUV. I dump my stuff in her car and then go to collect the dog. Keep in mind I am not in my warmest outfit.

Polly, come. Ride? *sweet and fun voice. Polly looks in my direction, looks vaguely interested, then takes off. I am trying to keep in mind all the things I've heard about getting my dog to come. Don't sound angry. Don't be stressed. Make it fun.

You know what was fun (to her)? That I was calling her and she wasn't coming. In fact, she ran farther away. Oh yay, she's stopping! Maybe now I can grab her. Oh my lord, she's POOPING. And my neighbor is walking out the door and is totally gonna report me. Not another letter from the homeowner's association. I always pick up her poop but today it was 16 degrees out and tears were streaming down my face because I was so cold. So there the poop lay because I had bigger fish to fry. I needed to CATCH MY DOG. I try to trick her and open the door to my car. She runs across the front lawn of all my neighbors. Back and forth. Like a demon child. I'm convinced that when I do catch her, I'm gonna kill her. I breathe a sigh of relief. She's coming closer. Yay! I reach for her. Miss. And she DARTS off. Again. To the field across from my house. Oh Lord, I think I'm gonna die. I'm just ready to leave her ass behind. I wanna sit on Mel's heated seats! I try to trick her by opening my car door again. This time it works! She hops in my car. Only problem is that's not the car we're taking today. She's sitting in the front. I open the front door to grab her leash and ~~yank~~ lead her out of my car. She hops to the back seat. Ok, I can do this. I close the front door and open the back door. She jumps to the front again. Melissa at this point says "Grab her leash". I should point out that this bit of helpful advice comes minutes after she laughed for about 5 minutes straight at the spectacle I was creating for all my neighbors (and apparently her too) to enjoy. Priceless.

I've got the leash! I thought my morning Olympics were over. I forgot about the next hurdle. Getting Polly into Mel's car. Finally after much struggling and my embarrassing butt crack show to the world, we managed to get in. Of course I had to share MY seat with her. I don't care. I'm in the car. I'm sitting down. I'm warm. A little squished but warm nonetheless. What's that? Those "brrrp" things on the road that are a supposed to be little reminders that you shouldn't be sleeping while driving. Yeah, Polly hates those. Mommy loves them. Because it meant I got to have my seat all to myself.

Happy Valentines Day!

Bloggy Lurve

2008-02-13T17:59:00.002-05:00

Because sometimes others know us better than we know ourselves, I was invited to be a guest author on Mel's blog. Go check her out and show her some lurve. She's quite quirky!

Wordless Wednesday

2008-02-13T07:00:00.003-05:00

This picture is more like speechless Wednesday. I'm simply amazing in my full length flowered dress. My shoes have soles that are incredibly honkin' in thickness. Wow.

I'm so glad that my style has evolved some.

Are daily servings of burgers and fries on the WW plan?

2008-02-12T08:55:00.000-05:00

Wow, I had so many visitors yesterday. What fun! Thanks for stopping by. Since it is slow today, I will have some time to ~~not do my work~~ stalk you guys!

So I get an email from the bff saying "ignore all the stuff Greg wrote about you (on Facebook)". The HELL I will. I marched my butt over to Fb and looked to see what she meant and lmao. Serves her right for logging in as him. Greg's one of our pals and he barely knows how to use a computer. So Mel sets up everything for him. That means she knows his password. Forgetting that she was logged in as him, she editted the details about how we knew each other and put that we had lived together and listed three different places. They were the three different places MELISSA and I have lived together. She thought I had deleted her as my friend (as if)... my rule is only delete the crazies and the stalkers. I'll admit, she's getting close but she's UNdeletable in my book. Now the really funny thing is Mel and I just had a conversation yesterday about how I was glad she didn't have my email password because I just know she would be snooping around. She admitted she would be tempted but wouldn't snoop. I'm not so sure (btw, I know she's reading this). She says it's my fault because I told her to log in as him (I can't remember why - I think we wanted to see if he had written a girl). But that's not ALL my fault, is it? She wrote "be sure your sins will find you out". Hee hee. They sure will. Now onto other topics...

So this morning was my weigh in. I have to confess. I need to go grocery shopping. I eat HORRIBLY when I don't. I don't overeat.. I just choose all the wrong things and eat once a day. Like burgers and fries. Everyday. I also went thru my TOM on Thursday - Saturday. So I've been feeling "feed me salt"ish. And water? Don't even get me started.

Weigh in = NO change and for that I am offering up a big YAHOO. I'll take it.

Tonight I will get some groceries. And eat better. And eat fruit. Wow, I haven't had a piece of fruit in DAYS. Wait? Does a cherry filled pop tart count? Just kidding, no pop tarts for me.

As an NSV, I have been doing workouts at home. It's probably not helpful that I'm thinking all the while "this isn't gonna do a dang thing" but anyway, I've been doing 'em. So that's something! Gotta run. Will stalk you later.

~Tina

Quirky Confessions

2008-02-11T07:41:00.000-05:00

In lieu of Manda's birthday, I decided to join her today in listing my quirky confessions. Happy Birthday!

1. I do not "do" fruit in my VEGETABLE salad. Fruit salad, yes. Baby oranges, grapes or anything other than lettuce, tomatoes, cukes and onions and I'm pretty much out. I don't do cooked fruit either. Sweet and sour chicken yes. Cooked pineapple, no.

2. It bugs my sleep if my room is cluttered. I'm pretty organized but I do have my moments when I let things go (usually when I'm busy) and my sleep suffers as a result. I lay in bed thinking of how I should clean my room and usually when I'm finally tired of the clutter, I spend 8 hours cleaning. Hence my cleaning spree this weekend.

3. I like my room really cold and lots and lots of blankets when I sleep... all year long.

4. My bff calls me grandma because I Tivo all the Dateline, Primetime, 20/20 and 60 Minutes shows. I'm 29.

5. I almost never put my clean laundry away. I just dig thru the baskets to find what I want to wear and then when they're empty, it's time to do laundry again.

6. My grocery lists are an art form. By aisle and type of food. And if I make a mistake, no scratchsies outsies. It takes me less than 30 minutes to do about $100 bucks worth of shopping and that includes the check out.

7. I compulsively check my alarm clock to make sure it's set for the right time (that doesn't mean I've remembered to turn it on).

8. I have a mental list of three things that I must have at all times: keys, cell phone, wallet. Only once have I forgotten one of these things. My day was thrown completely off because I obsessed about the wallet that I may/may not have let in my car.

Ok, your turn. You know you wanna bare all!

Polly does naughty things

2008-02-10T23:14:00.000-05:00

I wonder the thought process that Polly has when she is being tempted. Oooh, I want that stuffed animal even though mommy always says 'No' when I get near it. Or it's lots of fun to make the kitty cat growl at me. Or it's hilarious when me and mommy are playing outside and then she calls me and I just run off like I never heard her. That's my favorite.

Two Christmases ago I received a plush, light up snowman from my mom. I LOVE snowmen and I get them every year as gifts either from others or from me to me. This particular snowman was my fast favorite and because she (it was definitely a girl) had a country-ish theme, I could keep it out the whole winter. Because I have a hard enough time putting away my Christmas stuff, it was nice to be able to leave this decoration out just because it was 'wintry'. And this is what happened when said decoration was left out.

And this is who did it. I could have killed her but obviously I didn't. I mourned and moved on.
And this is my beloved kitty, Pip. He never chews anything. Except the Christmas lights but that was a long time ago and a completely different story.

Frozen in Grand Central Station

2008-02-08T21:58:00.000-05:00

This is wild. 200+ people were enlisted to freeze at the exact same time in Grand Central Station. Pretty cool. Little freaky. Thanks Vera.

Questions, so many questions...

2008-02-07T17:20:00.000-05:00

Where am I going?

Budapest, Hungary. Eastern Europe. 8 hour flight. Can you say Xanax?

Who travels with me?

Last year, it was just Mel. This year Glenn (Mel's hubby) and Texas Greg are coming along. That should be loads of fun, if you like grumpy and guffawing. At least the girls will be in one room and the stinky boys in the other.

Why, why, why Budapest?

Our home church in Baltimore, MD has churches all over the world. They have a pow-wow twice a year, once in Europe and once at our homebase. The pow-wow this time of year is in Europe.

I have to mention that in college I became fast friends with many Hungarians, they are beautiful people inside and out and I also took a semester of Hungarian(and yes, I can speak egy kicsit). I will be walking around the house with my tapes as a refresher.

What will I do with Polly? Oh my god, will I blog while I'm gone? And what else will I do while I'm there?

Don't worry puppy fans. She will join the pack at Mel's house. The nanny LOVES my doggy so she'll be well cared for.

I'm pretty sure I will not blog while overseas. Internet=boku buckaroos. But stay tuned. I may surprise ya.

Mainly we'll be at the conference, attending different sessions, hanging out with old friends, meeting new people, eating strange but wonderful food, walking around the city and one of my (our) friends is gonna take us bowling the day after we arrive. I'm also looking into meeting up with at least one of the girls that stayed with me last summer. Right now, it's looking like a 10 hour train ride to Romania but maybe we can figure something out.

Anyone with experience on train-ing it in Europe? Just when I think I've found a good site to use, I discover it's in Ro-gar-ssian.

When do I leave?
NEXT month baby. March 5-11th. Woot!

pics post & Budapest bound!

2008-02-06T18:42:00.000-05:00

I've become one of those people. You know. They stop on the side of the road and whip out their digi-cams. I just couldn't help myself.

Most of today and including right now it is 67 degrees. It's February 6th and I wore a t-shirt and sandals to work. Which could explain why I keep getting sick. *shrug* I am NOT complaining but the warmer weather is a tease because even though I want to be dumped on with tons of snow, I'm soooo ready for spring-ish clothes and FRUIT IN SEASON.

Today, my bff and I booked our tickets to Budapest. We paid $492 bucks r/t! That is an UNBELIEVABLE deal. We're going for a missions conference and then we have a few days of play time. So hopefully we'll be able to hit a neighboring country. Ideas are welcome as always. I will be investigating online later to see if we can maybe visit on of my girls from last year's stay. Oh yeah, we leave next month.. March 5th!!

Darn scale predictions and AWARDS

2008-02-05T10:12:00.000-05:00

I was right this time. My crappy eating last week did NOT, repeat not, pay off. You know those times when you feel as if you're gonna gain and then don't (I LOVE those times). Well, this was not one of those times. I'm up 0.6. On a positive note, at least I'm still in the 170's.

Last night I did 45 minutes of strength training, a workout formulated by SP. I have to say when I got home, everything hurt but in a good way. Then I made a healthy dinner broiled potatoes and chicken and then tuned into my all-time favorite show The New Adventures of Old Christine. Dreyfuss is freaking awesome and I nearly pee my pants whenever I watch. And I could just ~~strip all my clothes off and throw myself at~~ melt at Mr. Harris. But I digress.

It's so easy to slip away from the gym even after weeks of going but I have to say it felt really good to be back!

Yesterday I had some time to poke around on a few new sites and found Secrets of a Black Heart and Shamelessly Sassy. Funny, funny gals. If you're in need of a laugh, I'm sure they've got one for you.

And finally, I've always wanted to be a presenter at the awards shows and since that'll never happen I'm gonna give one out here. There's only rule. Hand it out to as many people as you'd like.

And the award goes to...........

Where the hell is Barbie?
I know I'm not the only reader to laugh so hard to the point of snorting. She's AMAZING and inspires me. She's got this picture of a magazine cover of HER on it and she has quite the amazing before and after. Not only is she a great read I always see her comments floating around on others' blogs encouraging them.

Swizzlepop
She's another one you CONSTANTLY see floating around building others up. She has been my longest and most faithful blog friend. She's an amazing person with great food habits (Hostess 100's). And recently she made LIFETIME. She's beautiful, funny, smart and she's worth a read.

Roni
She's the whole reason I started the bloggy thingie (that was for you HappyBlogChick). I joined to have some accountability, to share my thoughts because quite honestly I felt like no one did understand this struggle. As a result I got a whole COMMUNITY of people dropping comments saying encouraging words, giving me a "hang in" just when I needed it. She has a great site with food ideas, rants (which I love), exercises but most importantly the amazing community which is just the support you need.

Kate
If you're looking for someone to ooze positivity, look not further. It's not the annoying kind either. She almost always throws some inspirational quote our way. She BAKES but using healthy alternatives and she has a daily puppy on her blog. :)) She's such a sweetheart working on her own weight goals but is so quick to have a word of encouragement to me and many others.

Happy Tuesday!

The tree is DOWN but I'm not...

2008-02-04T10:57:00.000-05:00

I think I'm gonna take a break from blogging on the weekends... I seem to have more to talk about come Monday morning.

Saturday - I took down my freakin' tree and cleaned the first floor of my house from 8:00 am until about 4:30 pm. I'm talkin' steam cleaning the carpet, washing the kitchen floor, scrubbing counter tops and vacuuming the umpteen tree needles from every crevice. I think next year my two resolutions will be to check my mailbox more often (right now it's about every 7-10 days). The reason for this is I missed the notice from my HOA that said tree pickups would be the week of January 21st. Nice. Good thing my friend's dad has a dumpster that he offered to haul off my pathetic tree to. I'm so excited though because I rearranged the furniture and everything looks so nice! :)) Oh my other resolution will be to take down my tree for the week of tree pickup.

Sunday - I woke up feeling pretty crappy. Sore throat, feverish, achey, chills, basically the same symptoms everyone else has been feeling lately. Polly had WAAY to much energy yesterday. I was ready to post "does anyone want a dog?". 50+ lbs jumping on my stomach is usually fun except for yesterday. I pretty much slept the entire day until about 6:15 to which I tuned to the Superbowl. Let's just say I'm in mourning. I was supposed to go to my neighbor's house to watch but since I wasn't feeling well, I opted to stay in. They were doing a $1 a spot and I picked ten and guess what? I won $50 bucks! That NEVER happens!

Monday - that's today. I'm feeling better than yesterday. I got on the scale this morning and I was up two pounds. I kinda expected it because I didn't really do too well eating this past week. Not many fruits, veggies.. but stayed on target with the water. I am gonna start exercising again. I am feeling bad about paying 84 bucks a month and not using my membership at all. I think I need to start strength training again. I can't tell you how many times I heard on tv or read online (this week alone) that in order to lose weight, you should exercise with weights. So that's what I'm gonna start doing... tonight, after work. *insert sarcastic yay here*

On a sad note, my boss called me this morning to say that one of his very good friends was hit by a car and killed last night as he tried to cross the highway on foot. If you would, please keep his family and friends in prayer. This is a very sad time for many people I know.

Meme Time! OMG it's my 100th post!

2008-02-01T12:35:00.000-05:00

I got this in an email from an old friend.... and because I'm bored and have nothing interesting to post as of yet, here goes. Feel free to copy and paste. :))

1. What is your occupation? Office manager
2. What color are your socks right now? mint green with cranberry colored flowers (good thing my pants are long b/c they totally don't match)
3. What are you listening to right now? my portable heater
4. What was the last thing that you ate? ham, egg & cheese on english muffin
5. Can you drive a stick shift? sure can
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? black
7. Last person you spoke to on the phone? a customer
8. Do you like the person who sent this to you? yep
9. How old are you today? 29
10. Favorite drink? diet soda although I haven't had anything except water in DAYS
11. What is your favorite sport to watch? ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL!!!
12. Have you ever dyed your hair? yes, ugh
13. Pets? doggy and kitty cat
14. Favorite food? hamburgers
15. Last movie you watched? Pay It Forward
16. Favorite Day of the year? probably Thanksgiving or Christmas.. but only if spent with family... otherwise the holidays SUCK
17. What do you do to vent anger? depends who made me angry. I have quite the Portugie temper at times.
18. What was your favorite toy as a child? hands down my Barbies
19. What is your favorite, fall or spring? Fall
20. Hugs or kisses? Again, depends...
21. Cherry or Blueberry? def cherry
22. Do you want your friends to email you back? does not apply but feel free to comment!
23. Who is most likely to respond? swizzle and mel
24. Who is least likely to respond? dunno
25. What is your favorite song? Who Knew by Pink
26. When was the last time you cried? Um, hmmm... I dunno... maybe in church I teared up a little.
27. What is on the floor of your closet? lots and lots of shoes
28. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending
this to? Melissa
29. Who is the friend you have had the shortest that you are sending
this to? Probably all my bloggy buddies
30. Favorite smells? clean clothes
31. Who inspires you? Roni, Steph, Melissa, my mom
32. What are you afraid of? Being forgotten
33. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? cheese
34. Favorite car? MY car... :)) Camry
35. Favorite cat breed? Domestic cuz that's what I have
36. Number of keys on your key ring? about 8
37. How many years at your current job? 1.5
38. Favorite day of the week? I'd have to say Saturday.
39. How many states/countries have you lived in? 2
40. Do you think you're funny? sometimes and especially when I'm overtired or took a very strong pain killer.

Hostess love affair

2008-01-31T10:20:00.000-05:00

I'm starting to seem like a walking food advertisement but I have some good finds that I want to share with you. Hope you don't mind! Now Swizzle knows about my ongoing love affair with Hostess but yesterday my taste buds met the acquaintance of Hostess 100 Calorie Banana Streusel Muffins. OMG. They taste like mini banana breads...!!!

Now, I have an a question for you based on a conversation with one of my friends at work. He said "why do you drink so much water?" I said "I dunno, it's good for you and that's what WW says I'm supposed to do". He said "but WHO came up with standard of 8 - 8 oz glasses of water". "I dunno".

So yesterday, I did some poking around on the internet and didn't really find much of an answer. I did find an interesting article about getting water from other sources, likes fruits and even your coffee (gasp). But WHY WHY WHY am I supposed to drink the recommended 8? Don't get me wrong, I'm not changing a darn thing because once I doubled up on my water intake I started to pee A LOT but also began losing weight..three count them, three weeks in a row. If it ain't broke.... I also think, what's it gonna hurt? Even if I don't know the reasons why, it's not bad and I do need some hydration so... I'm still doing my 8 gulps...

This morning I heard a report about bottled vs. tap. It was something like what was found in this article. Summed up, reports are that bottled is badder and tap is gooder. Mainly because one (tap) is regulated by EPA and they have higher standards of testing than the FDA (which regulates bottled water). I'm not real worried. I'm gonna continue to chug, chug, chug. I might be a little concerned if I could see the swimmers in the bottle. What do ya'll think?

ps. Still no takers on the de-decorating of the tree eh?

Fruitabu...

2008-01-30T18:18:00.000-05:00

I have a confession. Downing my H2O is not my only struggle. Fruit and veggies are too! Especially in the winter because everything is out of season. I can't WAIT for some watermelon!!

The other day at the grocery store I picked up ~~impulse buy~~ this fruit snack that was in the checkout aisle (next to all the candy). I'm always looking for new healthier treats when I'm feeling "snacky" so I opted to try them. They're called Fruitabu (two dots belong over the u) and they are organic smooshed fruit. I was surprised that they actually taste very, very good.

I entered the points in Roni's calculator and for two they came to 1.2 pts (40 calories/0 fat/1 fiber). And they each count as a 1/2 serving of fruit! I guess their market is toward kids to get them to eat more fruit or healthier snacks but why can't adults enjoy it to? For those of you that have kids who like to play on the computer, this is a fun little site for them. And if you're interested in purchasing them, you can get it directly from them (I also noticed them on Amazon too).

Here is their link: Fruitabu

ps. My tree is still up. My bff is sick and I went straight to her house after work yesterday to make food and help with the 4 kiddos (5 if you count the hubby). Any volunteers to de-decorate my tree?

8 Gulps

2008-01-29T14:39:00.000-05:00

Comic courtesy of: Msnbc Comics

I am one of those that is HORRIBLE at drinking my daily required water but I've been trying so hard! I'm a huge Crystal light user but decided to cut back ~~quit cold turkey~~ and just drink the pure stuff. I know I'm corny but competition, even against myself, is so helpful. So today I came up with an 8 gulp rule.

Every hour, pretty much on the hour, I've been taking 8 gulps. I started at 10 am (because I need my coffee before anything else) and now at 12:57pm I'm almost done with a 1.5 liter bottle. I drink at least two of these a day... It's easier than at 11:59 pm trying to down my 8 glasses for the day.

I can't believe that I'm actually starting to lose weight. I'm 179.2 and I know I'm only down a few pounds but I don't feel as if I've lost any weight (except in my boobs). I lose from the head down and have already begun to say buh-bye to my girls. :(( Oh well, they're saggy anyway.

ps. My tree is still up. It's coming down tonight!

Vine Lady

2008-01-28T12:23:00.000-05:00

This is a chick, dressed up as a plant. I know, fun. She was at the very least.. entertaining and flexible. I think she scared a few kids at the home show. Here is the vid as promised...

I'm littler

2008-01-28T12:20:00.000-05:00

Made it to the 170's... !!!!!!!!

The verdict this morning is 179.2. That's 1.2 d0wn. I still will weigh in tomorrow as my normal day has been Tuesdays but lately I've been doing it on Monday. I was also thinking of doing a WI every 10 days.... what do ya'll think?

Life is approaching some normalcy again as the home show is over. It's hard work, long hours but is very good for business so I can't complain. I am glad to be back to my 40-45 hour work week though.

I have a vid I've been trying to post all morning and keep getting an error message. Argh. Will try to repost it again later.

Trouble posting...

2008-01-28T10:22:00.000-05:00

I'm here.. I'm lurking but I'm having trouble posting. Have one all ready. Just keep getting error code bX-5jdh20 and am waiting to hear back from Blogger help. Anyone know what that is all about?

Seriously?

2008-01-25T10:44:00.000-05:00

No pictures today. Paparrazi is on strike until Britney shows a little sanity.

Aah, I love sleeping in. That's what this morning was all about. I got up, weighed myself (still up 2.4 but I'm not worried.. that should hopefully be gone by my weigh in come Tuesday), made Bullseye toast which I can't for the life of me remember who I got it from... so sorry about that but I just had to say that it turned out quite good! Now, I'm lounging around the house in my jammies that have pink lips on them (thank you Victoria's Secret) and killing time (lurking) until I have to go to work. I'll be in Philly working the Home Show (anyone wana come? I have free tickets for you!) tonight so I get to be a bum this morning. Yay!

Ok, now about my "seriously?" news... Banana on the floor? Dishes in the sink? Belongings strewn about the living room like it was the scene of a violent crime? DVD case on the floor? Glasses back in the cupboard that haven't been washed and I can tell what was in them? Dirty dishes in random places in my house?

You'd think I lived in a boy's dorm. I don't. This is my house which THEY (the precious girls) have been invited to live in. Oh, btw, I got new girls in exchange for the ones who loved my place so much that they left to go back and live with their stinky boyfriends. Now I get the whole "I lived with mommy for 900 years so they probably never did anything for themselves" but c'mon. Actually, I lied. I don't get it. I moved out at 17. To another state. 500 miles away. I wasn't always responsible, neat, organized but I'd like to think I was at least considerate enough to not treat the homes or dorms I lived in like they were hotels. I'm not fuming, not even a little mad. Just... incredulous I guess the word is...

Here is my love letter to them:

Dear Girls,

Please remember to clean up after yourselves at Hotel Tina. The maids have all quit so we have to do our own work. :)

Have a good day and try not to work too hard.

Tina

I should have added a "ps". PUT MY CORDLESS PHONES BACK ON THE CHARGER!

:))

.35 caliber

2008-01-22T13:47:00.001-05:00

I'm set to work 60 hrs this week unless I take a day off.

I'm tired.

I shouldn't complain because I get paid overtime.

Plus bonuses.

I'm leaving early today.

Polly has been acting funny the past few days.

I hope it's not her new roommates (well, my new roommates).

I'd have to beat them & lock them in a closet if they were mean to her.

She's with me today laying in front of my portable heater.

I got it last year because the girl I worked with always had a problem with the temperature.

I'm loving the new blogs I've been reading lately.

I really liked the post I read today on Roni's blog about an "almost eating disorder".

I haven't finished the article but found myself nodding thru the first two pages.

I ate Chinese food today.

I'm drinking lots of water.

My new pet peeve is when skinny people who have always been skinny give weight loss advice.

It's apparently supposed to snow today (yay!) but all I see is rain (boo!).

I have to go #2 but the bathroom is really gross because someone else had the same idea and it overflowed.

I hope no one expects me to clean it.

I hope I can hold it until I get home.

Houdini, David Copperfield & Tina

2008-01-21T10:25:00.001-05:00

I'm practically doing a vanishing act in front of your eyes...

I'm down 0.6 pounds and you don't even want to know what I ate this week. Two days in a row this week I was up 2.0 lbs and pitched a fit.... where did it go? It's like magic.

Sorry for the non-posting past few days... I am busy doing a home show in Philly and the next week is going to be crazy. Will do my best to post daily....

Hugs not drugs.

++++++++++++++++++++++++ ity

2008-01-18T13:20:00.000-05:00

I got this from Mousearoo a blog I stumbled upon in my "day of rest"... and I think I needed a dose of positive self talk. Feel free to be tagged and repost on your own blogs....

1. What do you absolutely love about your body? Wow, love huh? I'd have to say my lips... not tiny, not puffy, injection looking ones.. just right, no matter what my body size.

2. When did you surprise yourself with your physical strength? I'm known to have "monkey strength" but I'd say when I was able to throw a 250 lb man over my head (in judo class).

3. When were you braver than you ever thought you could be? I went thru a really personal issue and had to go before a whole board of dudes and tell "my side".... I think it took a ton of guts to not run out of there, even with the I-don't-believe-you stares.

4. When did your self-control blow you away? Everytime the office orders out (good stuff like subs and fries) and I eat only the lunch I brought while inhaling the goodies (thru my nose, of course)

5. What is your proudest moment ever? When I lost 44 pounds a few years ago and didn't starve myself to do it...

6. When was the last time you felt absolutely beautiful? In bed, butt naked with someone who couldn't stop looking at my body... like I was a work of art or something.

7. Why do you deserve to meet your goals? Because I'm working damn hard at reaching them.

Mommy's resting so Polly's posting...

2008-01-18T12:40:00.001-05:00

I thought while my mommy took it easy today trying not to think of the pain that her wisdom teeth are causing, I would do a little post for you all...

Ten Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans
1. Blaming your farts on me.... not very funny... not funny at all !!!

2. Yelling at me for barking !! I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG! Mom's been watching Cesar so she doesn't yell as much anymore.. lots of Shhh-ing which I don't get.

3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check everything out as we go... Exactly whose walk is this anyway? BTW, mom is NOTORIOUS for this.

4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose. I hate it! Doesn't happen to me too often but every now and then...

5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your possessions up when you're not home. Mommy has been good to be in this area. Usually we just mock the other dressed up doggies on "our walk".

6. The sleight of hand. The fake-fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo. What a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

7. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I freak
out every time we go back!

8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

9. Dog sweaters. Hello ??? Haven't you noticed the fur?

10. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look !! We both know the truth. You're just jealous.

Now lay off me on some of these things. We both know who's boss here! You don't see me picking up your poop do you?

Love, Polly

ps. I love when Mommy takes me to work! That's where I am today.. yay!

Who gets wisdom teeth at 29?

2008-01-17T10:42:00.000-05:00

My body has decided it's time once again to produce my wisdom teeth. They didn't start until my early twenties and never made it to surface because there isn't room in my small mouth (my hygienist says I have a small mouth, my friends beg to differ). So through the years, I've been enduring off and on a few days of pain, mixed with lots of Advil and sympathy from every other normal person that either got them out or managed to get them before they were 25. I have flashbacks of the bff's sister who got them out at 20. She looked... well... like a chipmunk. Not to mention how much pain she was in. Couple that image in my head along with all the stories of how "it's worse the older you are" and you have me, a basket case. Oh yeah, not to mention the dental bill at $1200 bucks an hour. I am in the wrong field... although blood grosses me out, so I guess I'm not. Any tips, tricks, extra meds you all aren't using? Let me know.... :))

Blurry vision....

2008-01-16T11:56:00.000-05:00

I'm officially pooped! Did I mention that in order to see the Knicks/Wizards we had a 3 hour drive to NYC? Ended up getting in well after 2:00 am and then I had to work this morning so... that explains my blurry vision. Well worth it though! I had such a blast!! Be warned this is a picture post....

We went to eat at Ruth's Chris and I was the RC virgin. OMG, it was so YUMMY. Mel and I split a 12 oz, I ate 1/4 cup of mashed potatoes, salad and then the chaplain for the Knicks (that's my connection to getting on the floor) and I split the Chocolate Explosion. OMG. I'm posting pictures and a video of the "explosion". I think our waitress hyped it up a little - I was expecting 8th grade volcanic eruptions... not so much. :)) I have yet to put in my POINTS but I'm not worried.. that's what Flex are for right?

After eating, we took a Subway (FUN and I love being with people that know how to get around the city) back to Madison Square Garden... It was so cool walking in with the media like I was something special. :)) Here are some pictures of the players as I sat on the floor like a giddy school girl. :))

Carly Patterson (Olympic gymnast, gold I think) was spotted actually sitting a few seats away from me and I interrupted her popcorn and diet coke dinner for a picture. She was really sweet. Spotted the dude from the Sopranos in celeb row waaaaaay on the other side. The rest of the pictures were with players (not complaining, celebs are celebs)... Nate Robinson, Malik Rose, Zach Randolph, David Lee. I think I had a realization... I think I'm giving up my dream of being a papparazi.. I saw some older teenage boys hounding the players for pics, I just didn't want to bug them. I don't have the heart to interrupt their "normalcy" especially when they're with their families. Thankfully, the chaplain spoke up on my behalf and I was able to snag a few pictures with the ones I was nervous about approaching. :))

It was such a neat experience, to walk where the players walked, be around famous people, scream like a banchee... Boy it was fun to be a kid for a day... Hope you enjoyed the post! Have a great day!

posting from iPhone

2008-01-15T23:49:00.000-05:00

using my friend's phone to post from the road. Game was awesome. Spotted celebs and even got pictures with a few. Will post more in
morning but wanted to share that I was officially DOWN 1.4 lbs. That calls for a woot! More to come tomorrow ...

Moo Magic...

2008-01-14T12:58:00.000-05:00

It started Saturday morning with a 2, count it TWO pound loss people. FINALLY! I was in need of some scale encouragement and now I can almost say I'm in the 170's. Woot! I know my normal weigh is on Tuesday sooooooooooooo, I will report back with those three digits... la-ter.

Saturday during the day I just hung out, did grocery shopping, spent like 100 bucks but got a BUNCH of really good stuff. OH and I have a new find! See below:

I found it in my grocery store in the coffee aisle. I was browsing thru and noticed it and say "hmm, maybe I'll try that". My problem is getting in enough dairy each day. I HATE milk unless it's a caramel macchiato or hot chocolate. This is 5 calories... NO fat... and YUMMY! Really great flavor and the powder disappears in the milk. I haven't tried heating it yet but that will be next.

So about my cooking.... on the weekends I like to cook a few different meals so on the nights I work late and then get home later, I'm not raiding the fridge and pantry... I only have to wait as long as it takes to nuke the leftovers. I made two things.. which I will put the recipe on sparkpeople. One is my dad's doing...he's from the South and I'm not entirely sure if that's where this dish is from but it's call Jag. He would make it with chourico (chorizo), green beans and seasoned rice. I made an alternative this weekend with linguica (like chourico but lower in fat and calories), kidney beans (holy heck FIBER) , corn and BROWN rice. Now for the seasoning I used Goya Sazon which you can put on anything. It's paprika-ry, salt-y, bouillon-y tasting.. I've used it with pasta too... if you like spanish rice, then you'll like this seasoning.

Oh, so here's the pic of the finished product:

The other thing I made this weekend was a low fat taco salad with ground turkey... YUM... I used these chips made by Nature's Promise and I was very surprised at how good they were... All I put in it was a tbs of low fat sour cream, 1 tbs of salsa, 1/4 c. ground turkey, 14 tortilla chips, cup of lettuce, 1 plum tomato and called it a day. Will figure out POINTS later on today but as you can see it was a very healthy choice.

I had a very, very restful weekend. I breathed, hung out with my doggy, watched tv, ate when I was hungry and just relaxed about the whole bulging battle thing. Thank you ALL for your comments, encouragement, hugs and support. I hope that I am as faithful a stalker as you all are! Give me a few days to get back to comments and catch up on reading... OH YEAH.. tomorrow, I may try to squeeze in a post before I head off to NYC to watch the Knicks play! I'm STOKED. I'm riding up with the chaplain for the Knicks, Mel and her hubby and we have floor seats. Hoping to catch a few drops of sweat AND get some pics of famous people. I need to calm down. I'm a little celebrity obsessed. Ok, I've officially dipped one minute into my "non-lunch" time so back to work for me.

Hugs to you all. Have a great day!

Blog Break

2008-01-11T14:02:00.000-05:00

Taking a little break from posting... just for this weekend. Need to really rest, stop obsessing about my bulges and breathe. I'll be back on Monday, ready and rearing...

Hope you all have a great weekend! (((((my blogroll)))))

2008-01-10T15:57:00.001-05:00

"Are you gonna blog about Vinny calling your dog ugly?", Mel asked a few moments ago. "I am now". WHO would call POLLY UGLY!?!?! I said to him, "I think you should leave before I kick your ass. And oh, how about if I said to you, hey Vin, your kid is ugly." He was like, " actually I do say that but in a nice way". He bugs me. Like I needed any other reason to be in a grumpy mood.

1. TOM has descended.
2. I have cramps.
3. I'm bloated.
4. My girls moved out last night and I didn't find out from them. WHAT?!?
5. I've lost 1.2 lbs in 10 weeks. I know, quit griping already but it's so hard to stay positive sometimes. It seems like everyone I know is losing weight and I wanna be there too!!
6. I just had Mel do closeups of my face and I deleted them because I look GROSS.

I'm all about the personal space but I think I just need a hug today.

UM, I'm WALKING there...

2008-01-09T19:23:00.000-05:00

So tonight it was either about a long walk or the gym. Because I suffer from tremendous guilt for crating my boxer all day long while I'm at work, I opted for the long walk. She needs it as much as I do, the spaz. I'm hoping that one day I can leave her free in my house while I'm gone. I just don't trust her yet. I know, I know.. how could I NOT trust this face. You don't know this sweetheart as well as I do. :))

Now, I'm not at the point where I'm liking the exercise. I do it because I want my ass to get smaller but tonight I was thinking "this is nice" until.... on our walk in the lane to the left of the bike lane (we were on the opposite side of the road and I don't have sidewalks in certain places in my neighborhood), this car was coming STRAIGHT at us. Good thing I pooped before I left the house because.. well, you know the rest. I yelled HOLY HELL and had to JUMP out of the way like in the movies. Granted it was dark but I had on a WHITE vest, reflective shoes AND there were STREET LIGHTS on us. I have a feeling that I encountered a radio tuning, cell phone gabbing almost made us meet our maker fool. Still glad I walked though.

ps. TOM is ON like Donkey Kong. I feel so sh!tty it isn't even funny. So I guess exercising in spite of all my crampiness is an NSV. Yay.

Do you have wiping clearance?

2008-01-09T13:10:00.000-05:00

I'm loving how Swizzlepop is putting everything in conversation form lately, so today I will share one that just happened. I must mention first off that I like to talk about poop. I don't know why but I always seem to invite the poop conversations.

A little background. Here in the office we have someone that is known as the "poop splasher". I actually call this person the "poop smearer". Why? Because EVERYTIME he goes to big boy potty, he SMEARS POOP on the seat. We've all tried to figure out how that happens because we all have experimented and found we have ample wiping clearance. There should be NO POOP smear. Now we are a little tired of the culprit and his bacon strip ways. We've discussed ways to take care of this, had office meetings about it, left notes to please clean up after yourself... until last week. I heard Mel's voice (she works with me two days a week) from the bathroom, "there's POOP on the seat!!" So naturally I grabbed my camera.

Today's LUNCH convo:

Mel: Did anyone comment on the pictures you posted in the bathroom?
Tina: Yes, Bas did. He said Debbie probably did it.
Deb: Nope, I have wiping clearance, remember?
Tina: Yep.
Deb: Why do we always talk about poop?
Mel: Because we work with Tina.

I manage to kill Deb's appetite weekly because of my poop conversations. Maybe I helped save you a few POINTS! :))

Holy hell.. I'm out of shape

2008-01-08T18:24:00.000-05:00

Literally, I sit here gasping for breath wondering what possessed me to ask my neighbor if she had a pump. Your inquiring mind may wish to know what that pump was for so I will tell you. My bike. Well actually Dasha's bike. Dasha is a Russian that lived with me as part of the "program". One of her really big wants was a bike to ride in the US. So for her birthday, I, well we since most of the other girls chipped in, bought her one. When she left for Mothah Rushah this past September, she did not take it with her. So I have a new bike! Which leads me to my insanity.

I decided that in all of my learnings from the Dog Whisperer, that Polly may enjoy a good bike ride. Well that's me riding, her running. Let me tell you, it's not as easy as Cesar Millan makes it look. Damn him. Polly about pulled my arm out of the socket 10 times. She full on stopped and almost made me flip over the handle bars. And stopping.. what's that?? I swear I was FLYING I was going so fast and then when I went to apply the trusty brakes... I had to squeeze like I was having the worst contraction or something (I've never had babies but I've had bad cramps).

So now, here I sit, sweating, panting, wondering... and we were only out for 5 minutes!!

ps. There was a moment where Polly and I were in sync and she was panting and running along and having fun. Hopefully those moments with practice will get more and more frequent.

Freakin' Seesaw

2008-01-08T09:47:00.000-05:00

Plateau can be defined as such:
- it has constant value (in math)
- no progress in learning (in psych)
- an elevated area of comparatively flat land, limited on at least one side by an abrupt descent to lower land (topography)
- not what I'm experiencing right now

I got on the scale this morning and when I saw the number, it was hard not to get disappointed. It was the same as last week... 182.4. Last time this happened was when I started WeightWatchers in April. The first six or seven weeks were HELL because I was doing everything "by the book" and maybe losing 0.2 lbs and then gaining it right back the next week. I couldn't figure it out.

There were only a few things that kept me going: my support that I found in my weightwatchen community and something one of the guys at work told me. He said that his wife when doing weightwatchers the second time around, didn't lose an OUNCE of weight for 7 weeks and then it started flying off. And now she's this cute tiny thing. I kept telling myself that I wasn't going to quit no matter what the scale said and I didnt. I lost almost 20 lbs last time and made it to the lowers 160's! I slacked off toward the end of summer, got busy with my girls and slowly but surely all the weight that I had worked so hard to take off, crept back on. Then I found myself at 183 lbs again and knew I needed to do something about it.

So I went back to the community that helped me thru it last time, made up my mind to do this thing no matter what the freakin' scale said to me and here I am. Now back to this morning.... I was disappointed to not see a loss. Trust me, I'm doing everything right. Getting in my veggies, drinking my water, exercising daily... I was almost ready to quit today and then I remembered what happened last time... how it took me about 7 weeks to start consistently losing weight... and then I decided to put my numbers together so I could see that I didn't have a plateau going on but I have had a little progress.. and a little is better than none right?

I don't know what else to do except keep doing what I'm doing. I think I need to visit Kate's site. She always has some great quote to inspire...

I love to sleep but CANT....

2008-01-07T15:10:00.000-05:00

Last night I stared at my tv until waaaay past 3 am. Please note that I was in bed long before then. Anyhoo... I "fell asleep" until about 5 am at which point I woke up about every 5 or 10 minutes until I realized I wasn't getting any sleep progress and got UP up at 6:30 am. It's now 3:12 pm and I feel like this is the longest day of my life. I just can't wait to get home and walk my Polly girl and veg. I'm so brain dead. Even one of the guys said to me "I'm not used to you being scatterbrained". It's TRUE.. combine that with the TOM hormones and you have me... a big ol' airhead.

I've noticed that when I don't sleep well, I get very snacky, like 12 Twizzlers snacky. Yikes. Who told me to keep a fully stocked candy jar on my desk? I do it for the boys I tell myself and 9 times out of 10 I stay away from the goodies.. but that ONE time, I am BAD. Sorry for all the caps.

Right now I'm (at work) working on reversing a chargeback that our company received. I don't know how many of you know what that means but basically it's like this: have you seen those Amex commercials where Amex calls the customer (let's say Ellen) and says did you happen to purchase 15 dancing monkeys and she says "nope" and then they reverse the charges, just like that? Well it's almost like that for us except that a customer is "claiming" that we have no right to hit their credit card. So poof! the money is zapped from our account and either put in credit card hold or back into their account. Now if the company is in the right, how is that FAIR? To get our money back, I have to put pages upon pages of documentation together to PROVE that we're right. We're accused of being guilty and have to prove why we're innocent while the cardholders can just make frivilous accusations. After much hard work, I did get them to reverse this once before but the cardholder apparently has the right to appeal and we have to start the process all over a second time. It makes me want to petition someone or start something (I don't know what) that would protect companies (especially smaller ones) from this kind of thing. Whew, ok.. guess I had a little vent there. Sorry.

I love that you guys love my Polly pictures. I post pics of my dog because I don't have kids. Here's another one. A little dark but I'm in love with her face.

I'm CONNECTED!

2008-01-06T17:53:00.001-05:00

Woo woo! I'm so excited. So I got a new brand of router, hopefully that will keep me from connection problems. I know that there are worse things than your wireless being down but still... I didn't have the LUXURY of tracking my food in my room, lurking around your websites in the privacy of my pj's and total bed head, playing endless games of scrabble when I should be sleeping, etc, etc.... You say, why not use your hardwired computer? I could do that but I can't believe I forgot to mention that I have NEW GIRLS staying with me. I am a host parent to kids that come to the US on the work/travel program (Sevis). I give them a place to sleep, they work here and (hopefully) we bond and have a blast together. My last group of girls were from all over Europe and from all my posts about them, especially my goodbye tribute, I really grew to love them. They all called me "mommy". These girls are from Peru and I am hoping to have a similar bond with them. Oh back to what I was saying.. I didn't want to hog the hardwired computer because that's for them to use. :)

Today was another lazy day but I did manage to get outside and play some Frisbee again with Polly. She made a new friend today too! His name is Rockefeller. He was a HUGE retriever type dog. Very, very sweet. I can't believe I missed a photo op of the two of them. I thought I'd post a picture of Polly AFTER earning activity points. She says hi.

Technical Difficulties

2008-01-05T20:31:00.000-05:00

Thanks to all those who previously though I had a HIGH PITCHED voice!!! WTF!!! Just kidding. Actually I have gotten comments that they didn't expect me to talk the way I do. Um???? Guess I should either ghetto or valley girl it up for ya'll. Hee hee..

Ok, about my title. My wireless is down and the tech support in freaking cluck-cluck land is helpless.

Pet peeves about foreign tech support:
- they never understand me and I never understand them
- the background noise is OVERWHELMING. If I wanted to listen to the whole nation of Cluck Cluck, I would have done 4 billion way calling or something
- they ask me dumb questions like "can you connect to your wireless" when that is the problem I called them about in the first place
- they call themselves SUPPORT and then say "I can't help you with your problem, maybe you should tried downloading new firmware or return your product". WHAT???

So now, I'm using my hardwired computer (if you're wondering). Heading out to get a new router (this will be my 5th one) and hopefully I'll be connected to the interweb in my room again. Cross your fingers and toes. *said in my highest, pitchiest voice*

HUGS.

Polly + Boredom = Trouble

2008-01-05T14:43:00.000-05:00

The formula above I know all too well. I have stains in my carpet because of Polly's aforementioned boredom. I have holes in things that should not have holes. I was sad last Christmas when she killed my snowman. So, I've learned in my many hours of watching the Dog Whisperer (which is quite a fabulous show) that dogs who are bored get into trouble. DUH! *actually, I DID know this before watching DW but it's still quite a great show.

Well, this morning and early afternoon I was a big lazy butt. I wanted to sleep and watch tv. I wasn't in any mood to MOVE until I noticed how restless Polly was getting. The sighs got more and more frequent and the long stares at me as if to say "mommy, can we go out now" were growing more intense. She even at one point, pushed the curtains and blinds aside so she could look out. "Oooooookay, we'll go" I said to her, thus creating quite a frenzy of excitement. She dashed down the stairs, circled the living room about 20 times and then came to a stop at the front door. Oh, I forgot to mention that I pulled out of the "special box" her Frisbee. She was over the moon. We went into the field that is across from my house and played for about 20 minutes! Sooo much fun. :))

You think I can earn some of HER activity points?

Meatloaf is the answer...

2008-01-04T19:20:00.001-05:00

Are your cupboards bare? Do you have 2 lbs of ground turkey already two days thawed in your fridge? Are you out of spaghetti sauce and the only thing you can come up for a "ground turkey" meal involves pasta, which involves spaghetti sauce? Did I mention I'm out of sauce? Well, after much being in a rut about all the uses of ground turkey which I couldn't do because it would mean I'd have to pay a visit to the store, I came up with MEATLOAF. Yay!

Tonight's featured dinner:

Nutritional Info: Mashed Potatoes/Turkey Meatloaf

Total POINTS: 7

Side note: I'm overwhelmed by the responses I received when I posted my "before" pics. We are not made to be alone for many reasons but in this realm we just need people who will be there to be what we need. I hope that I or something I write inspires or is something that you can nod to because you know just what I'm feeling.

You all are so beautiful! Thank you, thank you, thank you for your support!

BEFORE pictures.... gulp

2008-01-03T18:27:00.000-05:00

You know what I said when I was examining these... "hmm, I actually don't look as bad as I thought". WHAT!!!! Bad self image girl actually has something NICE to say about herself for once? Yep, I guess I did. :) Yay me!

So, as noted and as promised, these are my before shots. I will post once a month my progress. Hopefully I am taking up less space in the pictures to come.

I wanna be HAWT!!!

2008-01-02T19:24:00.000-05:00

Ok, resolution # 893123. I totally copied it from the dark haired cute chick on The Biggest Loser. I don't usually watch but got sucked into it because nothing else was on . You may have seen her in a commercial for the show. She's the one that says, "I wanna be hot!".

This pic of me was obviously years ago and I remember my state of mind. I was young, insecure, thought I was fat (ask Mel) and not cute at all. My friend K who is a professional photog and ex-model used to love taking pictures of me. We would have strike a pose sessions often in our days of living together and it was fun. I mean, what girl doesn't like getting all pretty. And she knew some great makeup and picture taking tips so it made it all the more fun. As much as I loved the picture taking itself, I could not wait until we got the proofs back. The funny thing was as excited as I was to get the proofs back, my reaction was always the same. I was ALWAYS displeased with myself. Found some new (or old) flaw. I would pinch "imaginary" fat which Mel would remind me was called SKIN. And then I would eat nothing but Twizzlers (because I had quite the addiction to them back then), diet pills, drink nothing but diet Coke and exercise... a lot.

As I get older and the weight is harder to take off than it was in my teens and my boobs have repositioned themselves (without asking me first!!), I am needing to remind myself that any 'work' I do on myself needs to come from the inside first. My mom and I were talking recently about my weight struggles and she was said that I worry too much about my weight. I told her I actually struggled with the decision to go home to visit because I was afraid of everyone thinking about how fat I had gotten. I know that's stupid and that family love you no matter what: fat, thin, moody, happy, life together, life fallen apart.. but I was so warped into thinking that my family, the people that care about me the most, would actually give two sh!ts about my waist size.

I, like many of you, am working on this, my view of me. For today and everyday, I will take this verse and say it to myself daily... "I am fearfully and WONDERFULLY made... your works are wonderful".

By the way, I still wanna be HAWT!