You called my house last night about 100 times. I wasn't aware that Peru and Maryland have something in common. Do you know what it is? Google pointed out to me that we share the same time. So Pablo, when you rangy rang my phone from 11:30 pm to 1:30 am, it was the same time for you too. Maybe you don't have Google there in Peru? Or a bedtime? Can I send you a link? A sleeping pill?
I was nice to you last night, even when you annoyingly asked the same question over again. Yes, she received the flowers. No, Ms. Thang NO ESTA LA CASA. I mean, c'mon. I said it in YOUR language and I'm not even great with Spanglish. I hate repeating myself but I did that too... three times. For your sake. Maybe you missed a word or two that I said? Although your English did sound pretty good to me. I politely told you that it was late and that I had been sleeping. You apologized and then asked me again if she was home. Sigh. I mentioned this great invention called voice mail. Made for this very reason so you don't have to exhibit stalkerish qualities.
I cut you some slack, Pablo because I was ignorant of geographical things. I was patient and kind. But next time, I may not be so nice. I'm warning you. I saved the Fedex label from the package you sent your girl. I know where you live.