Thursday, January 31
Wednesday, January 30
Tuesday, January 29
Monday, January 28
The verdict this morning is 179.2. That's 1.2 d0wn. I still will weigh in tomorrow as my normal day has been Tuesdays but lately I've been doing it on Monday. I was also thinking of doing a WI every 10 days.... what do ya'll think?
Life is approaching some normalcy again as the home show is over. It's hard work, long hours but is very good for business so I can't complain. I am glad to be back to my 40-45 hour work week though.
I have a vid I've been trying to post all morning and keep getting an error message. Argh. Will try to repost it again later.
Friday, January 25
Aah, I love sleeping in. That's what this morning was all about. I got up, weighed myself (still up 2.4 but I'm not worried.. that should hopefully be gone by my weigh in come Tuesday), made Bullseye toast which I can't for the life of me remember who I got it from... so sorry about that but I just had to say that it turned out quite good! Now, I'm lounging around the house in my jammies that have pink lips on them (thank you Victoria's Secret) and killing time (lurking) until I have to go to work. I'll be in Philly working the Home Show (anyone wana come? I have free tickets for you!) tonight so I get to be a bum this morning. Yay!
Ok, now about my "seriously?" news... Banana on the floor? Dishes in the sink? Belongings strewn about the living room like it was the scene of a violent crime? DVD case on the floor? Glasses back in the cupboard that haven't been washed and I can tell what was in them? Dirty dishes in random places in my house?
You'd think I lived in a boy's dorm. I don't. This is my house which THEY (the precious girls) have been invited to live in. Oh, btw, I got new girls in exchange for the ones who loved my place so much that they left to go back and live with their stinky boyfriends. Now I get the whole "I lived with mommy for 900 years so they probably never did anything for themselves" but c'mon. Actually, I lied. I don't get it. I moved out at 17. To another state. 500 miles away. I wasn't always responsible, neat, organized but I'd like to think I was at least considerate enough to not treat the homes or dorms I lived in like they were hotels. I'm not fuming, not even a little mad. Just... incredulous I guess the word is...
Here is my love letter to them:
Please remember to clean up after yourselves at Hotel Tina. The maids have all quit so we have to do our own work. :)
Have a good day and try not to work too hard.
I should have added a "ps". PUT MY CORDLESS PHONES BACK ON THE CHARGER!
Tuesday, January 22
- I'm set to work 60 hrs this week unless I take a day off.
- I'm tired.
- I shouldn't complain because I get paid overtime.
- Plus bonuses.
- I'm leaving early today.
- Polly has been acting funny the past few days.
- I hope it's not her new roommates (well, my new roommates).
- I'd have to beat them & lock them in a closet if they were mean to her.
- She's with me today laying in front of my portable heater.
- I got it last year because the girl I worked with always had a problem with the temperature.
- I'm loving the new blogs I've been reading lately.
- I really liked the post I read today on Roni's blog about an "almost eating disorder".
- I haven't finished the article but found myself nodding thru the first two pages.
- I ate Chinese food today.
- I'm drinking lots of water.
- My new pet peeve is when skinny people who have always been skinny give weight loss advice.
- It's apparently supposed to snow today (yay!) but all I see is rain (boo!).
- I have to go #2 but the bathroom is really gross because someone else had the same idea and it overflowed.
- I hope no one expects me to clean it.
- I hope I can hold it until I get home.
Monday, January 21
Hugs not drugs.
Friday, January 18
1. What do you absolutely love about your body? Wow, love huh? I'd have to say my lips... not tiny, not puffy, injection looking ones.. just right, no matter what my body size.
2. When did you surprise yourself with your physical strength? I'm known to have "monkey strength" but I'd say when I was able to throw a 250 lb man over my head (in judo class).
3. When were you braver than you ever thought you could be? I went thru a really personal issue and had to go before a whole board of dudes and tell "my side".... I think it took a ton of guts to not run out of there, even with the I-don't-believe-you stares.
4. When did your self-control blow you away? Everytime the office orders out (good stuff like subs and fries) and I eat only the lunch I brought while inhaling the goodies (thru my nose, of course)
5. What is your proudest moment ever? When I lost 44 pounds a few years ago and didn't starve myself to do it...
6. When was the last time you felt absolutely beautiful? In bed, butt naked with someone who couldn't stop looking at my body... like I was a work of art or something.
7. Why do you deserve to meet your goals? Because I'm working damn hard at reaching them.
Ten Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans
1. Blaming your farts on me.... not very funny... not funny at all !!!
2. Yelling at me for barking !! I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG! Mom's been watching Cesar so she doesn't yell as much anymore.. lots of Shhh-ing which I don't get.
3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check everything out as we go... Exactly whose walk is this anyway? BTW, mom is NOTORIOUS for this.
4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose. I hate it! Doesn't happen to me too often but every now and then...
5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your possessions up when you're not home. Mommy has been good to be in this area. Usually we just mock the other dressed up doggies on "our walk".
6. The sleight of hand. The fake-fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo. What a proud moment for the top of the food chain.
7. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I freak
out every time we go back!
8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.
9. Dog sweaters. Hello ??? Haven't you noticed the fur?
10. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look !! We both know the truth. You're just jealous.
Now lay off me on some of these things. We both know who's boss here! You don't see me picking up your poop do you?
ps. I love when Mommy takes me to work! That's where I am today.. yay!
Thursday, January 17
My body has decided it's time once again to produce my wisdom teeth. They didn't start until my early twenties and never made it to surface because there isn't room in my small mouth (my hygienist says I have a small mouth, my friends beg to differ). So through the years, I've been enduring off and on a few days of pain, mixed with lots of Advil and sympathy from every other normal person that either got them out or managed to get them before they were 25. I have flashbacks of the bff's sister who got them out at 20. She looked... well... like a chipmunk. Not to mention how much pain she was in. Couple that image in my head along with all the stories of how "it's worse the older you are" and you have me, a basket case. Oh yeah, not to mention the dental bill at $1200 bucks an hour. I am in the wrong field... although blood grosses me out, so I guess I'm not. Any tips, tricks, extra meds you all aren't using? Let me know.... :))
Wednesday, January 16
We went to eat at Ruth's Chris and I was the RC virgin. OMG, it was so YUMMY. Mel and I split a 12 oz, I ate 1/4 cup of mashed potatoes, salad and then the chaplain for the Knicks (that's my connection to getting on the floor) and I split the Chocolate Explosion. OMG. I'm posting pictures and a video of the "explosion". I think our waitress hyped it up a little - I was expecting 8th grade volcanic eruptions... not so much. :)) I have yet to put in my POINTS but I'm not worried.. that's what Flex are for right?
Tuesday, January 15
Monday, January 14
Saturday during the day I just hung out, did grocery shopping, spent like 100 bucks but got a BUNCH of really good stuff. OH and I have a new find! See below:
I found it in my grocery store in the coffee aisle. I was browsing thru and noticed it and say "hmm, maybe I'll try that". My problem is getting in enough dairy each day. I HATE milk unless it's a caramel macchiato or hot chocolate. This is 5 calories... NO fat... and YUMMY! Really great flavor and the powder disappears in the milk. I haven't tried heating it yet but that will be next.
So about my cooking.... on the weekends I like to cook a few different meals so on the nights I work late and then get home later, I'm not raiding the fridge and pantry... I only have to wait as long as it takes to nuke the leftovers. I made two things.. which I will put the recipe on sparkpeople. One is my dad's doing...he's from the South and I'm not entirely sure if that's where this dish is from but it's call Jag. He would make it with chourico (chorizo), green beans and seasoned rice. I made an alternative this weekend with linguica (like chourico but lower in fat and calories), kidney beans (holy heck FIBER) , corn and BROWN rice. Now for the seasoning I used Goya Sazon which you can put on anything. It's paprika-ry, salt-y, bouillon-y tasting.. I've used it with pasta too... if you like spanish rice, then you'll like this seasoning.
Oh, so here's the pic of the finished product:
The other thing I made this weekend was a low fat taco salad with ground turkey... YUM... I used these chips made by Nature's Promise and I was very surprised at how good they were... All I put in it was a tbs of low fat sour cream, 1 tbs of salsa, 1/4 c. ground turkey, 14 tortilla chips, cup of lettuce, 1 plum tomato and called it a day. Will figure out POINTS later on today but as you can see it was a very healthy choice.
I had a very, very restful weekend. I breathed, hung out with my doggy, watched tv, ate when I was hungry and just relaxed about the whole bulging battle thing. Thank you ALL for your comments, encouragement, hugs and support. I hope that I am as faithful a stalker as you all are! Give me a few days to get back to comments and catch up on reading... OH YEAH.. tomorrow, I may try to squeeze in a post before I head off to NYC to watch the Knicks play! I'm STOKED. I'm riding up with the chaplain for the Knicks, Mel and her hubby and we have floor seats. Hoping to catch a few drops of sweat AND get some pics of famous people. I need to calm down. I'm a little celebrity obsessed. Ok, I've officially dipped one minute into my "non-lunch" time so back to work for me.
Hugs to you all. Have a great day!
Friday, January 11
Thursday, January 10
"Are you gonna blog about Vinny calling your dog ugly?", Mel asked a few moments ago. "I am now". WHO would call POLLY UGLY!?!?! I said to him, "I think you should leave before I kick your ass. And oh, how about if I said to you, hey Vin, your kid is ugly." He was like, " actually I do say that but in a nice way". He bugs me. Like I needed any other reason to be in a grumpy mood.
1. TOM has descended.
2. I have cramps.
3. I'm bloated.
4. My girls moved out last night and I didn't find out from them. WHAT?!?
5. I've lost 1.2 lbs in 10 weeks. I know, quit griping already but it's so hard to stay positive sometimes. It seems like everyone I know is losing weight and I wanna be there too!!
6. I just had Mel do closeups of my face and I deleted them because I look GROSS.
I'm all about the personal space but I think I just need a hug today.
Wednesday, January 9
Now, I'm not at the point where I'm liking the exercise. I do it because I want my ass to get smaller but tonight I was thinking "this is nice" until.... on our walk in the lane to the left of the bike lane (we were on the opposite side of the road and I don't have sidewalks in certain places in my neighborhood), this car was coming STRAIGHT at us. Good thing I pooped before I left the house because.. well, you know the rest. I yelled HOLY HELL and had to JUMP out of the way like in the movies. Granted it was dark but I had on a WHITE vest, reflective shoes AND there were STREET LIGHTS on us. I have a feeling that I encountered a radio tuning, cell phone gabbing almost made us meet our maker fool. Still glad I walked though.
ps. TOM is ON like Donkey Kong. I feel so sh!tty it isn't even funny. So I guess exercising in spite of all my crampiness is an NSV. Yay.
A little background. Here in the office we have someone that is known as the "poop splasher". I actually call this person the "poop smearer". Why? Because EVERYTIME he goes to big boy potty, he SMEARS POOP on the seat. We've all tried to figure out how that happens because we all have experimented and found we have ample wiping clearance. There should be NO POOP smear. Now we are a little tired of the culprit and his bacon strip ways. We've discussed ways to take care of this, had office meetings about it, left notes to please clean up after yourself... until last week. I heard Mel's voice (she works with me two days a week) from the bathroom, "there's POOP on the seat!!" So naturally I grabbed my camera.
Today's LUNCH convo:
Mel: Did anyone comment on the pictures you posted in the bathroom?
Tina: Yes, Bas did. He said Debbie probably did it.
Deb: Nope, I have wiping clearance, remember?
Deb: Why do we always talk about poop?
Mel: Because we work with Tina.
I manage to kill Deb's appetite weekly because of my poop conversations. Maybe I helped save you a few POINTS! :))
Tuesday, January 8
I decided that in all of my learnings from the Dog Whisperer, that Polly may enjoy a good bike ride. Well that's me riding, her running. Let me tell you, it's not as easy as Cesar Millan makes it look. Damn him. Polly about pulled my arm out of the socket 10 times. She full on stopped and almost made me flip over the handle bars. And stopping.. what's that?? I swear I was FLYING I was going so fast and then when I went to apply the trusty brakes... I had to squeeze like I was having the worst contraction or something (I've never had babies but I've had bad cramps).
So now, here I sit, sweating, panting, wondering... and we were only out for 5 minutes!!
ps. There was a moment where Polly and I were in sync and she was panting and running along and having fun. Hopefully those moments with practice will get more and more frequent.
Plateau can be defined as such:
- it has constant value (in math)
- no progress in learning (in psych)
- an elevated area of comparatively flat land, limited on at least one side by an abrupt descent to lower land (topography)
- not what I'm experiencing right now
I got on the scale this morning and when I saw the number, it was hard not to get disappointed. It was the same as last week... 182.4. Last time this happened was when I started WeightWatchers in April. The first six or seven weeks were HELL because I was doing everything "by the book" and maybe losing 0.2 lbs and then gaining it right back the next week. I couldn't figure it out.
There were only a few things that kept me going: my support that I found in my weightwatchen community and something one of the guys at work told me. He said that his wife when doing weightwatchers the second time around, didn't lose an OUNCE of weight for 7 weeks and then it started flying off. And now she's this cute tiny thing. I kept telling myself that I wasn't going to quit no matter what the scale said and I didnt. I lost almost 20 lbs last time and made it to the lowers 160's! I slacked off toward the end of summer, got busy with my girls and slowly but surely all the weight that I had worked so hard to take off, crept back on. Then I found myself at 183 lbs again and knew I needed to do something about it.
So I went back to the community that helped me thru it last time, made up my mind to do this thing no matter what the freakin' scale said to me and here I am. Now back to this morning.... I was disappointed to not see a loss. Trust me, I'm doing everything right. Getting in my veggies, drinking my water, exercising daily... I was almost ready to quit today and then I remembered what happened last time... how it took me about 7 weeks to start consistently losing weight... and then I decided to put my numbers together so I could see that I didn't have a plateau going on but I have had a little progress.. and a little is better than none right?
I don't know what else to do except keep doing what I'm doing. I think I need to visit Kate's site. She always has some great quote to inspire...
Monday, January 7
I've noticed that when I don't sleep well, I get very snacky, like 12 Twizzlers snacky. Yikes. Who told me to keep a fully stocked candy jar on my desk? I do it for the boys I tell myself and 9 times out of 10 I stay away from the goodies.. but that ONE time, I am BAD. Sorry for all the caps.
Right now I'm (at work) working on reversing a chargeback that our company received. I don't know how many of you know what that means but basically it's like this: have you seen those Amex commercials where Amex calls the customer (let's say Ellen) and says did you happen to purchase 15 dancing monkeys and she says "nope" and then they reverse the charges, just like that? Well it's almost like that for us except that a customer is "claiming" that we have no right to hit their credit card. So poof! the money is zapped from our account and either put in credit card hold or back into their account. Now if the company is in the right, how is that FAIR? To get our money back, I have to put pages upon pages of documentation together to PROVE that we're right. We're accused of being guilty and have to prove why we're innocent while the cardholders can just make frivilous accusations. After much hard work, I did get them to reverse this once before but the cardholder apparently has the right to appeal and we have to start the process all over a second time. It makes me want to petition someone or start something (I don't know what) that would protect companies (especially smaller ones) from this kind of thing. Whew, ok.. guess I had a little vent there. Sorry.
I love that you guys love my Polly pictures. I post pics of my dog because I don't have kids. Here's another one. A little dark but I'm in love with her face.
Sunday, January 6
Woo woo! I'm so excited. So I got a new brand of router, hopefully that will keep me from connection problems. I know that there are worse things than your wireless being down but still... I didn't have the LUXURY of tracking my food in my room, lurking around your websites in the privacy of my pj's and total bed head, playing endless games of scrabble when I should be sleeping, etc, etc.... You say, why not use your hardwired computer? I could do that but I can't believe I forgot to mention that I have NEW GIRLS staying with me. I am a host parent to kids that come to the US on the work/travel program (Sevis). I give them a place to sleep, they work here and (hopefully) we bond and have a blast together. My last group of girls were from all over Europe and from all my posts about them, especially my goodbye tribute, I really grew to love them. They all called me "mommy". These girls are from Peru and I am hoping to have a similar bond with them. Oh back to what I was saying.. I didn't want to hog the hardwired computer because that's for them to use. :)
Today was another lazy day but I did manage to get outside and play some Frisbee again with Polly. She made a new friend today too! His name is Rockefeller. He was a HUGE retriever type dog. Very, very sweet. I can't believe I missed a photo op of the two of them. I thought I'd post a picture of Polly AFTER earning activity points. She says hi.
Saturday, January 5
Ok, about my title. My wireless is down and the tech support in freaking cluck-cluck land is helpless.
Pet peeves about foreign tech support:
- they never understand me and I never understand them
- the background noise is OVERWHELMING. If I wanted to listen to the whole nation of Cluck Cluck, I would have done 4 billion way calling or something
- they ask me dumb questions like "can you connect to your wireless" when that is the problem I called them about in the first place
- they call themselves SUPPORT and then say "I can't help you with your problem, maybe you should tried downloading new firmware or return your product". WHAT???
So now, I'm using my hardwired computer (if you're wondering). Heading out to get a new router (this will be my 5th one) and hopefully I'll be connected to the interweb in my room again. Cross your fingers and toes. *said in my highest, pitchiest voice*
Well, this morning and early afternoon I was a big lazy butt. I wanted to sleep and watch tv. I wasn't in any mood to MOVE until I noticed how restless Polly was getting. The sighs got more and more frequent and the long stares at me as if to say "mommy, can we go out now" were growing more intense. She even at one point, pushed the curtains and blinds aside so she could look out. "Oooooookay, we'll go" I said to her, thus creating quite a frenzy of excitement. She dashed down the stairs, circled the living room about 20 times and then came to a stop at the front door. Oh, I forgot to mention that I pulled out of the "special box" her Frisbee. She was over the moon. We went into the field that is across from my house and played for about 20 minutes! Sooo much fun. :))
You think I can earn some of HER activity points?
Friday, January 4
Tonight's featured dinner:
Nutritional Info: Mashed Potatoes/Turkey Meatloaf
Total POINTS: 7
Side note: I'm overwhelmed by the responses I received when I posted my "before" pics. We are not made to be alone for many reasons but in this realm we just need people who will be there to be what we need. I hope that I or something I write inspires or is something that you can nod to because you know just what I'm feeling.
You all are so beautiful! Thank you, thank you, thank you for your support!
Thursday, January 3
You know what I said when I was examining these... "hmm, I actually don't look as bad as I thought". WHAT!!!! Bad self image girl actually has something NICE to say about herself for once? Yep, I guess I did. :) Yay me!
So, as noted and as promised, these are my before shots. I will post once a month my progress. Hopefully I am taking up less space in the pictures to come.
Wednesday, January 2
Ok, resolution # 893123. I totally copied it from the dark haired cute chick on The Biggest Loser. I don't usually watch but got sucked into it because nothing else was on . You may have seen her in a commercial for the show. She's the one that says, "I wanna be hot!".
This pic of me was obviously years ago and I remember my state of mind. I was young, insecure, thought I was fat (ask Mel) and not cute at all. My friend K who is a professional photog and ex-model used to love taking pictures of me. We would have strike a pose sessions often in our days of living together and it was fun. I mean, what girl doesn't like getting all pretty. And she knew some great makeup and picture taking tips so it made it all the more fun. As much as I loved the picture taking itself, I could not wait until we got the proofs back. The funny thing was as excited as I was to get the proofs back, my reaction was always the same. I was ALWAYS displeased with myself. Found some new (or old) flaw. I would pinch "imaginary" fat which Mel would remind me was called SKIN. And then I would eat nothing but Twizzlers (because I had quite the addiction to them back then), diet pills, drink nothing but diet Coke and exercise... a lot.
As I get older and the weight is harder to take off than it was in my teens and my boobs have repositioned themselves (without asking me first!!), I am needing to remind myself that any 'work' I do on myself needs to come from the inside first. My mom and I were talking recently about my weight struggles and she was said that I worry too much about my weight. I told her I actually struggled with the decision to go home to visit because I was afraid of everyone thinking about how fat I had gotten. I know that's stupid and that family love you no matter what: fat, thin, moody, happy, life together, life fallen apart.. but I was so warped into thinking that my family, the people that care about me the most, would actually give two sh!ts about my waist size.
I, like many of you, am working on this, my view of me. For today and everyday, I will take this verse and say it to myself daily... "I am fearfully and WONDERFULLY made... your works are wonderful".
By the way, I still wanna be HAWT!
Tuesday, January 1
So in honor of the new year, new beginnings I decided to post some things that I was thinking about that are some ideas, goals... resolutions.
1. Work on my house: painting, gardening, etc.
2. Move more (and I don't mean my address)... exercise challenge anyone?
3. Invest more time with family and friends.
4. Write a book.
5. Post a picture on my blog daily (of anything, not necessarily food).
6. Be more of an encouragement to my readers by commenting more on their sites.
7. Walk Polly at least once a day everyday.
8. Take two trips a year to a foreign country.
9. Travel more within the U.S. I can't believe I haven't been to Cali yet!
10. Fight the fat!
It's good to have things to look forward to. In addition to this I want this to be a year of growth and strength. I want to practice giving myself grace when I need it and accepting a swift kick in the ass when it's due. Can't wait to spend this year with you all. Happy New Year!